So hard without her,

My beloved wife of 40 yrs passed away 28th Nov 2016, I’m fighting cancer but I’m not putting up that much of a fight now, I just can’t think of spending how long I have left without her,I’m not frightened of dying, at least I will be with Marilyn , she was my life,

Oh Dennis, please make the effort to carry on with life it is so precious. Marilyn and 40 years of lovely memories are living in you. Keep her and those memories alive take them along with you. I know that watching our most precious love go into the long sleep can remove our fear of dying - that is true for me too. Its now 9 long months without him and there is no relief from the pain and I know there will never be. I’m sorry that you have to bear this pain and also your being so ill. Please keep trying. Thinking of you and hoping you are able to get some peace here. Best wishes.

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Thank you for your message billie, it was hard enough loosing my father then my brother but the pain of loosing Marilyn is something I could never have imagined,I suppose it’s like that for a lot of people , I just feel like I’ve cheated her,with me having cancer , I would never Take my own life ,like you said life is precious but at the same time it can be so cruel , I know what she would say to me if she was here ,thanks again for taking the time to send the message even though your still trying to come to terms with your own loss

So glad you had the energy to reply to me. I’m shocked at the misery when I read these posts because when you have your ‘cosy’ life you do not actually appreciate how lucky you are and have no idea what could be around the corner. Now- I know. We, you,I and all of us here should look back and think how lucky we are/were to have known such love. This doesn’t make it easier tho’ you and I know that. I know Marilyn would not want you to be unhappy or reject ‘life’ - tho’my/your life will be so different. The pain will stay although we may be able to explore what else? I really don’t know and like you sometimes don’t even WANT to know anything else. But as I’ve said the ‘same’ is not available to any of us who have experienced the loss of the ‘ONE’ for us! Please keep chatting and say what you feel we all need support. Bless you and I hope you get some sleep. Keep in touch.

Hi there Dennis so sorry for your loss, I also lost my beloved ed 28dec, so know where your coming from plus we lost our eldest daughter Aug bank holiday same year the year I call from hell, still can’t get my head around it,we were going to retire this year as well now it’s just me, don’t really want to be here but won’t do anything stupid as we still have 2 daughters and 7 grandchildren so don’t won’t to give them any more grief, there trying to get over this as well and keeping an eye on me, hope you are getting treatment and have family around you for support, please try to keep going your Marilyn would won’t you to take care Micky.

Hi Micky ,thank you for your message ,so sorry for your year of hell, that’s the only way to describe it , the loss of your daughter then your wife and all within such a short time, I won’t even try to imagine how your feeling,this may seem strange ,but since yesterday I haven’t spoken as much about my Marilyn passing away , but I do know now that I’m not the only one suffering with this type of pain I’m going through,billie,you,and everyone else on this site ,I to have a daughter ,grandson and 2 great grandchildren ,like you I try to show that I’m coping,but soon as they go home ,it’s just me the pain and the memories ,thanks again for your message ,take care