So lonely after my husband passing

I lost my husband Alan on July 4th, three days before his 65th birthday. We were together 40 years and I miss him terribly. My life was him and I feel so lonely without him. I’m completely lost and struggling.
He was diagnosed with lung cancer and a brain tumour Easter 2019 and he came through the treatments so positive, he was an amazing person who was there for me as much as I was for him. So inspirational and the love of my life.

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HI Wendy
I’m so sorry for your loss, you were together for 40 years, wow, you must have lots of happy memories. I too lost my partner in March to cancer, he was diagnosed only a month earlier, unfortunately it was very aggressive and he died a month later, we’d been together for 15 years. It’s been 6 months since he died and I really don’t know how I’ve survived. Like you I feel extremely lonely, we did everything together, he was my world. xxx

Hi Denise I’m so sorry for your loss your story sounds exactly like mine my husband died the end of February having just been told he had aggressive cancer we had 2 weeks ,he was so amazing in that time he planned his funeral wrote birthday cards as he knew he wouldn’t be here for my daughters 18 th in August and shut down is business . We had been married for 32 years and he was only just 57 . Me 53
I feel so lonely I’m lucky I have a son and daughter ,but like you he was my world I don’t sleep and miss him so much. I won’t to let you know you are not alone and if you need to chat sending a hug xx

Hi Wendy
So sorry for your loss ,like Denise said you must have lovely memories, but that doesn’t make it easy for any of us going through this dreadful agony of grief take care sending you a hug x

I’m so sorry - i understand some of what you are feeling as i lost my husband on June 4th except in my case it was totally unexpected. We had been married for 41 years and he was the love of my life - we had so many plans and suddenly they are all gone. I feel lost and lonely too. Big hugs.

Gosh we’re the same age, I’m also 53 … Roy was 65, quite an age gap but that didn’t bother us. I also have a son and daughter, Hollie is 24 and lives with her boyfriend, Dan is 20 and going back to uni in Leicester next week which I am really dreading cos then I’ll be in my own. I get incredibly lonely and noone seems to understand, you can be surrounded by people yet still feel so alone. Great that your husband arranged everything before he died, gosh that must have been so hard for you both … We didn’t want to know how long Roy had left so we didn’t ask and he never spoke about dieing, kept it all inside so I didn’t really have a clue what his final wishes were, but I hope we did him proud at his funeral xx

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Thanks for your reply Denise
Age doesn’t matter he was your life your future, I’m sure you are like me go to bed can’t sleep then in the morning wake thinking everything is normal to then have that dreadful sick feeling that it is your worst nighttime another long day without them .
My son is 23 still at home and my daughter just 18 at home it’s been particularly hard on her as she has autism . Please don’t feel alone I’m here if you would like to chat ,like you I have a good family but nobody understands and expects you to just get back to normal take care x

Yes you’re right, noone understands how we feel, you can be surrounded by friends and family but you still feel lonely xx