I have no children and I miss the physical contact and conversations I had with my husband. I feel so alone and unloved which is on top of the huge grief I still suffer six months on from the loss of my husband.
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Its very early days yet . Have you as yet tried just to get out a bit from the house ,flat ,bungalow does that help at all . I lost my wife 3 weeks ago with dimentia possible try cruise or a chat to the gp at all we are all here in the same boat so sorry for your loss .we all miss our loved ones so much all the best to you . Ken oxford
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@Layla2
I, and I’m sure very many of us on here, know what you mean. I’m 6 months or so in also. I’ve said many times that it isn’t the big stuff I miss but the little everyday trivia of living together, shared meals, daft moments, and of being a unit, a team, against the rest of the world. I have described it before that it was like we were a couple of playing cards propped up against each other and that delicate balance just worked. Take one away and…
Fairly early on I found some blog posts by a lady psychologist that helped me see the particular subtlety of losing a life partner (as no-one that it hasn’t yet happened to can possibly understand). Here’s a link to one of them, but have a read through some of her others too, they are very perceptive:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/widows-walk/202409/the-particular-loneliness-of-losing-a-spouse
Sadly I think other peoples’ ill-informed expectations of us make us feel it even more. I can be “ok”, but then someone comments or sets me a challenge (they usually don’t realise they have) and I fall into despair and it destabilises me. I am struggling with how to get beyond that reaction, it’s like I try taking one step forward and get pushed back several instead. I think it just all takes so much longer than anyone expects.
That Jordan Peterson is a psychologist isn’t he? Hi claims he can cure me of my homosexuality. In my experience, you may as well rub the side of a lamp and ask for 3 wishes.
I am sorry, but they just want your money, spend that on yourself instead.
Take care, JB.
@GuessWho
Never heard of him, and he obviously sounds unprofessional/deluded. But that’s the same in any profession/job you get the good ones and the complete nutcases hiding behind a label.
This lady is a widow herself so she isn’t just spouting without any understanding. And the blogs are free to read. Her other speciality is introverts which resonated with me too.
Sorry though if my post touched a wound. I think/hope that chap you mentioned views are extremely unrepresentative these days. But I do know it is taking a long time for all the world to change. Maybe one day in the future the reality of grief will be accepted in the same way, as totally normal too.
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No it’s ok, I just want you to be careful about who you put your trust in. I didn’t mean to sound judgemental, it’s just me being a grumpy sod, ignore me. Take care, x
Hi ya um l this is me as l dont want to upset any l went to cruise and an hour talking to sue the cruise lady was helpfull to me to get to grips with many things . Now this be not help everyone please please we are all differant there is no buck your ideas up etc just small steps . I am 3 weeks out from the loss of my wife . I hope everyone is ok even if at home totaly lost if one can help we will . I after 5 years of caring still hurt but this morning talking seems to help ken
Yes l work for the tax office and checked this it seem ok . I am certain local help is good lf want support l feel local is good ones gender ( hope that sounds ok no nastiness meant at all in case ) so if you need help talk on here and we can support each other that is why sue ryder is good and after my visit to cruise this morning l feel um l am still on a journey as it where in a tunnel and l am heading towards the light .As was said this morning at cruise bit at a time a little each day you will be sad .You will cry ,you will be sad you possibly get depressed. I feel above all to try little at a time even if you are at home lost because your best mate partner is no longer there . Time is a great healer and remember you never forget . All the best to every one ken oxford foot note its a hard lonely journey put we are here to help each other
Who cares yes its a good thing to say we. Have enough to deal with. Well said
Im currently seeing a brief counsellor at the hospice where my husband died, I’ve only had one session at the moment so don’t know if it is working, at the moment I feel like ive hit rock bottom and just want to give up and to be with my beloved husband who i miss every day. Im no longer living just existing, wake up, go to bed and thats its thinking why am I still here.