So lonely

It’s long but I think I need to write
My wife Sharon went into hospital first December( Reddith) 2019 and stayed in for 10 days and then had to go vaccine in on the 2nd January 2020 ( twice had to go though the window using Hart and fire service to help )
We had to move as house was not suitable for sharon . In February 2020 Sharon was moved to a community hospital and in March 2020 moved to a care home.
All this was happening during lickdown could not see my wife.
During this time tring to move (HA) but nothing happening due to covidfinally got a move wand plans were put in place to build a bedroom/wetroom so Sharon could come home July 2020. Was let down ( on going with Millbrook health care ) where she was placed at the bottom if a cue of 38 people even though all other in front were at home.
Moving on November 2020 arrange for Sharon to come home live in front room till extension built. Week due to come home Sharon suddenly died and I could not get to see her before she died in hospital 1 December 2020.
I never felt the pain of losses ever so much even though I lost my mum and dad 5 years previously.
The loneliness and stress took its toll and in July I had a heart attack .
Sharon was only 48 and I am only 55 I made the mistake of not sharing how. I was feeling please anyone else like what I been though talk to someone I waited over 6 months and only now beginning to open up to people.about how feel

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Dear Clive
You do what you can do when you can do it
You were not ready to share and that is fine - we are all different in the way we deal with our grief
This site will be very helpful - there is always someone listening and talking to you

Take care
Sadie x

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Clive, how sad, it’s bad enough losing that special person but during lockdown it’s been horrible not being there, not holding hands till the end, honestly I can’t imagine how horrible it was for you.
It’s good that you are starting to talk and I do hope you can see a counsellor or at least talk to one.
We are all here for you and we all share the grief. Never feel alone because everyone on here has lost a special person. Grief is heartbreaking but I think it makes us stronger. Thinking of you. S xx

Clive

I’m glad you have found this site. It has been a great source of support and strength for me. Talk when you are ready, tell us as much or as little as you want. We don’t judge, we just understand.

Although we can’t change any of the circumstances …… if only …… we can listen

Take care

Dee xx

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