So lonely

My husband Tony died 9 mths ago tomorrow I’m so lonely how do I come back from this my heart has been ripped out I can’t show it to my children as they will start worrying what do I do


Bless you it’s tough and you want to protect your children from your grief and pain but in reality they see it every day in your face. Find the courage to talk to them about how you feel it might help them put into words how they feel and through talking you’ll find a way of coping with those feelings together. Talk to your GP about support and counselling available in your area reach out on here there are plenty of listening ears that can help and support you whilst we all walk this path through our grief . Be kind to yourself xx

Hi Carol,
My husband - also called Tony died 14 months ago so I’m further down the line. Ironically tomorrow will be the anniversary of his funeral. I still feel lonely but have joined a local meet up group and have met up with them a couple of times. Totally out of my comfort zone but the loneliness was overwhelming at times. I think those of us left behind have to build a new future for ourselves going forward. I have grown up kids, 2 of them still live with me and like you I try not to let them know how lonely I am as I know they have their own grief and lives to deal with. It’s bloody hard isn’t it. I’m 49 so still relatively young and I need to trust that I will build a new life for myself going forward. It may not be the future we had planned but I hope to make it one that I can be ok with. I noticed you are in Essex - so am I. I’m in Clacton.
Keep posting as it helps x

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Hi someone suggested a meet up group but the thought of it is so overwhelming I am in romford essex I’m not sure if there is one nearby like yourself I have one son who still lives with me and I can see how much he struggles at times so I put on the smiles etc I could never dream of burdening them with how I feel I agree posting on here does help somewhat I just feel so lost

Thank you for your reply I think your right that my children can see it in my face but I could never open up to them so on goes the smiles

I recently was trying to explain to our son that I knew I was being irrational, over sensitive, angry, not being me over something unimportant but it just lit the touch paper. - I burst into tears.
He replied he didn’t know what to say or do. There was nothing he could say or do, but I think he needed to know that
(as my mum used to say) no man is an island.

G. X


Its now 18 mths the loneliness is getting overpowering im still working but just feel like a robot going through the motions im in such a hole

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