Hi, as the title says i feel so lost and empty without my beautiful wife, she passed suddenly 8 weeks ago on the morning of our 10 year anniversary due to a heart attack, it all happened at home and I didn’t expect id be doing CPR that morning. 18 years together and now I have no idea what to do or how to feel without her, besides constantly feeling guilty that I didn’t do enough to save her. I just love her and miss her so much
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Hi.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m 11 weeks into losing my husband.
I know one shoe doest fit all but everything you’re feeling is normal.
Keep getting through hour by hour. See a GP if you need to. Even if you don’t want to see people/family/friends, just try.
Try not to think about the next day, week, month.
Also no matter how difficult it is, try to be kind to yourself. If my husband was here I truly know he wouldn’t want me to be unkind to myself.
Take care.
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Please don’t feel that you didn’t do enough. My husband had a silent heart attack and I didn’t know and I trained first aiders for years! Please understand that not all CPR is successful either. You tried, you did enough. My husband survived his heart attack only because there was a doctor to administer adrenaline on the spot. I was told he would not have survived with CPR alone. He died 3 weeks later from a stroke. I too blame myself-its what we humans do best to try and work out why.
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Missher, I am so sorry that your wife died. I am at 9 weeks, I get it. But, please let go of the guilt. We aren’t miracle workers and likely not EMTs or physicians living in hospitals. You did all you knew to do, but there was nothing you could do that would have changed the outcome. Be assured of that and if you aren’t - ask your physician, he or she will tell you the truth. CPR doesn’t always work as our loved ones are already gone and we can’t bring them back no matter what.
It is enough to grieve, you don’t have to blame yourself for not performing a miracle too.
You did nothing wrong.
Much love.
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It is so hard trying to find a reason to keep going, her family are amazing and so are mine and my best friends have been epic, but led on my side of the bed looking at her empty pillow is a pain that cant be explained but im sure unfortunately most of you know. I’m glad i have found this app and all you amazing people
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@Missher84 I totally understand you can’t sleep & the pain is intense trying to settle in bed. I sleep in a different room for now. I will face trying to sleep in our room later. Try to do little things step by step. I try and break things down rather than tackle the whole package of my loss. It’s little things that get you through. I can go out for a walk now without crying everytime. Its not huge but it’s there.
Take care.
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So very sorry.
I understand my husband died suddenly and unexpectedly sat next to me.
Attempts were made to bring him back but …
Thinking of you and sending a big hug xx
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I’m so sorry you have had the most precious person taken from you. The first days, weeks, months are truly hideous, the pain is unimaginable and your body is trying to cope with such pain, that it won’t have felt before.
The best advice i was given was to focus only on the next hour. Take all the help that is offered and eat and drink when you can.
It’s a very painful process that others just can’t understand unless you have been through it. The pain runs so deep and family and friends just won’t understand it.
I know it seems unimaginable right now, but this all consuming raw pain will subside. Just take small steps through the process, you can’t avoid it but deal with it bit by bit and do what you need, when you need, to get through.
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So so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 35 years on 23 September. It’s unbearable
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I’m so very sorry to hear about your loss. I’m sorry to hear about everyone’s loss. My husband died 4 months ago. He had a pacemaker and defibrillator but that didn’t save him. He was still warm when I found him and I did CPR too. But if the technology couldn’t save him I wasn’t going to make a difference either. I just have to accept that it was his time. I love him and miss him every day and hate my life on my own but I’m trying to keep going. Three steps forward and two back. Sending out love to everyone here.
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You are so right. And if it’s only one step at a time then so be it. I shall be doing that also.
Sending you my good wishes.
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So sorry, i had a similar situation with my husband, the shock is overwhelming, totally understand how you feel, sending love
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Kate, my husband died on September 24. 26 years. I hear you. It is awful. I am so sorry.
I am functioning, albeit in a fog. Some routine is starting to form. Just exhausted all the time. Tired of being in a fog and sad and alone. Tired of having everything thrown into my lap to handle. I don’t want to adult anymore.
We will make it, we have no choice. It is just such a crappy journey to take. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
Much love.
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Hi Benji
So sorry for your loss
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