Hi all. And love to all on this site as everyone on here is going through loss, pain and everything else that goes with it… I’ve not been on here for a while but look through messages and feel for all.
I’m so very low and anxious. I’m very much alone. Unwanted and unloved. I’m very sad and lonely have alot of money worries due to being so ill and have bad post traumatic disorder. Severe depression and trauma. Getting such awful memories flashbacks of mum being so ill and the hell she went through. I lost my beautiful special mum to terminal cancer diagnosed and only lived four months. She deteriated so very very thin. Unless been through it you can believe someone can get so thin. And her face looking so frail and sad into mine… I’m crying it kills me with pain… I wish it was me that was taken! I would of given mum my life. It’s so very cruel and unfair. I feel so lost deeply lonely and sad. I have no one… I just wanna be with mum. Getting so suicidal just wanna be with mum. Would love hug… Crying in a corner
Hi Tray
I read your post and my heart goes out to you. You are really suffering. You must get some help. Going over those memories of your Mum last days are causing you to relive the pain. I am by no means an expert on this. When my husband died in October, I was diagnosed with Cancer, our best friend died and I lost my business overnight I was completely broken - mentally , emotionally and physically.
The thing that has helped me was finding a good hypnotherapist. She has used a variety of treatments EMDR, EFT and hypnosis. I no longer get flashbacks, panic attacks or the paralizing fear when I wake up I use meditation on You Tube when I feel anxious or need to relax. Please call the Samaritans if you feel suicidal over the weekend and on Monday please search for a therapist who can help you
Sending you a big hug. I am thinking of you and wishing you well.
Yvonne x
Hi Tray,
I remember you from when you used to post here, and I’m really sorry to hear you are feeling so lonely and struggling with depression. I’m concerned to hear that you are feeling suicidal and I want to encourage you to look for some support and keep yourself safe.
If I remember from your older posts, you were getting support from a mental health team before - is that right? Are you still under their care, or able to get back in touch with them? Otherwise, please contact your GP for an urgent appointment, or, as Scorpio has suggested, give the Samaritans a call on 116 123. If you feel you might be at risk at risk of harming yourself, please call 999, go to A&E or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
You deserve care and support so please, Tray, get in touch with one of these services.
How has your dog been doing? I remember you writing a lot about her before, and how much she meant to you.
Morning you poor special person.my heart aches to hear you say you want to end it.i can acknowledge the undescrible inner emotional pain.i also now suffer mental health issues ptsd chronic depression.i feel alone with my pain.since my beautiful precious child was tragically taken from me…you sound just a young person all the more sad.have you got help from the mental health community .or have you had any councilling .please open up to your doctor there is help out there.nobody can remove your pain.but it sounds like you need more support.you shouldn’t suffer in silence .please reach out and stay in touch with me xxx