Hi I haven’t posted for ages. My darling husband died nearly nine years ago. The circumstances were horrible as I myself was very ill in hospital. Since then I’ve tried allso hard. I still work part time despite being several years above retirement age. The pain never goes away . One comfort is my little dog .I often feel I’m going mad especially coming up to the anniversary. I also feel frightened but don’t know what of. As we loved travel I have tried to keep travelling but everything is so expensive now. I loved him so much. He was the only man who I ever loved and the only one who ever loved me. I have no family at all. I lost my faith and no matter what I do I can’t get it back. If there is more than this life why can’t I believe it and why can’t I feel him.
@Bell I’m so sorry that after all this time you are still finding life difficult.
I don’t have any answers but wanted you to be heard.
There are so many different circumstances that effect our abilities to move forward but i think the loss is so huge that unless we find something to fill the void the pain and ache for them continues. However the void is huge!
I’m only 18 months on this journey but i have (thankfully) family and friends that help get me through. But even with support, it doesn’t take away the pain of what is lost.
I live my life how he would expect me to. How he would hope that i would. He only ever wanted me to be happy, that wouldn’t change now he’s not here.
I don’t feel him around often but i know he is around and he’s with me in everything i do.
Just because you can’t see him, doesn’t mean he’s not around. You can’t see love, but it’s there.
Thank you so much for your words of comfort. I think that because I have no family and few friends that I let things get on top of me. Also getting older plays it’s part . I know he would want me to be happy and I’m trying to do things that give me pleasure . Just have to keep going I guess Again thank you . xx