I am sitting at my computer trying to pass time by watching but not really watching TV and so many doubts are flooding my brain:
Did I love Andrew enough?
Did I tell him that I loved him often enough?
Did I look after him to the best of my abilities?
Was I caring enough?
I know I was short-tempered at times in the last year of our life together and said things I should not have said. I wish I could take it all back but I can’t.
Most of all, I bitterly regret any harm I might have caused. We were both strong-willed and did not suffer fools gladly but I wish I had been more loving than picking fights about silly things.
I love him dearly and I am keeping his memory alive in different ways, but I feel so guilty that I did not do more for him when he was alive.
I was recently given photos of him in his mid-twenties and I have fallen in love with him all over again, but I wish I could have known him then. I would have never let him go.
I love you darling and always will.
rainbow bridge and walking thru leafy lanes in beautiful country side with our dogs - -
and 