So much loss

I am struggling to cope,I have lost my husband,mother and a much loved pet cat all within 15 months,I feel like I am going mad,feeling so low

So sorry Dusty. Compounded loss is so difficult.No wonder you are feeling overwhelmed. I also lost a beloved cat first, then my mother, in less than a year. 6 years later, last May, my wonderful little sister died. My time span was not as close as yours, but I feel I’ve lost everyone closest to me. You are dealing with so much right now. Such a large burden of grief on your shoulders is more than one can bear. I wish I could offer something to ease your pain, but all I can say is that coming here was a first step. You will find support and understanding here. When you are ready please post again, and share as much or as little as you can. Do you have friends or other family around you? Perhaps a support group in your area? This much loss is too heavy for you to carry alone. Take gentle care of yourself at this devastating time. Here to listen, day or night.
Sister2 Xxx

Hello Sister2
Thank you so much for your kind words,so sorry to see all your loss,I am trying to take one day at a time,which is the best advice I have ever had,I have thought of a support group as there is one at the hospice where my husband died,but at the moment feel it would be a big step,it’s good to know I can reach out on this site,I just want to be happy again,life seems such a struggle at the moment,keep trying to focus on the good things in life.

Hi there Dusty. I have started going to a hospice group near me. It’s not too bad and you can talk and hear out other peoples worries which does take my mind off my own. You might meet up with another person living near you also suffering from grief. I think the word happy is not one for many of us at the moment. Coping, is probably more suitable. I thought I was getting to the ‘coping’ stage but one little thing and I’m down again. So up I have to climb again. Keep focusing that is the way we have to do it.

Dusty, I read your post with a little smile on my face because we had a cat called Dusty. I do think you should think about some help with you grieving, don’t think you are alone the way you feel, so please try getting help. Keep posting because I find that when I am down writing about it helps. Think about your self and eat well and get enough sleep, that helps me, a poor night and I can start crying, not good. You will feel better but as they say time helps.
Blessings S

I really feel for you,I am so sorry ,we are in a similar situation.I have lost my mum,my darling husband Roy,my favourite pony,and last week our old whippet in the last 15 months.I too felt like I was going mad hit absolute rock bottom and had terrible anxiety attacks I have a great counsellor and have reluctantly started on medication,not a route I wanted to go down but was in such a black place.Still feeling very low but the anxiety has eased.You are not alone everyone on this site is so kind and thoughtful,always here if you need to talk,love Corinna xx

Hello Susie,thank you for your kind words and advice,the evenings are always the worst aren’t they?always tough,lots of friends but still lonely,Miss my old life,I am giving it lots of thought about getting help,after all its hard keep putting a brave face on it all,
Xxxxx

Hi Corrina
Sorry to see you have anxiety,it’s awful isn’t it,we know how all the loss we have both had is overwelming,so glad to see how much support there is on this site
Take Care,and lets keep talking!

Hi Pattidot,yes I think the hospice group is a good idea,going to pluck up some courage and give it a go,I know the feeling up and down,life is so unfair isn’t it,so let’s keep on supporting each other on this site,
Take carex

It doesn’t take the pain away,but we are all hurting so must stick together,thinking of you all and sending love and hugs xx

Yes we all need to stick together and yes the hospice groups do just that, they are friendly meeting places, everyone there is in the same boat. Tea and biscuits with friendly chatt, what better way of spending an afternoon. Worst part is making the effort and saying ‘I can do this’.
Anxiety is hard to deal with and with all the other emotions that are high at this time it takes a strong person to over come it but I know Corina you will come through, just give it time and be kind to yourself.
Blessings to you all. S

Thankyou everyone,look after yourselves,i’m going sleeping now,I love my bed,it makes all the pain go away.loads of love xx

Hi Corinna. I too love my bed. The dogs push each other all over the place to try and get a good place.They leave me with a mini area and hog the rest. They push down inside the quilt and moan at each other and they make me laugh. I lie between them and we all cuddle and yes, for a while the worries and pain goes away. Love Pat xxxx

I have a picture in my mind of you covered in dogs trying to find a space to sleep!Thanks for making me smile.I am lucky that i’m able to sleep as I know many of you struggle,I sleep more than I should probably,could stay in bed all day but luckily the animals wouldn’t allow that!How are you feeling Pat,what did the Dr say? xx

I was with a friend earlier and he looked up and said ‘look,two magpies,two for joy’ I looked up and one flew away leaving,’one for sorrow,’ very apt!Had to share that with you all xx

Hello Corinna. Nothing much from the Dr. Heart he said alright, slightly raised blood pressure, what does he expect for goodness sake, it’s a wonder it isn’t through the roof, wanted me to take tablets. No way, I don’t do medication. But I have to go to Cardiology, but this doctor sends everyone to the hospital. I dread going as I hate the place. I feel a lot better this week but I have put myself on a strict detox. I still eat but this time it’s healthily. No cakes, biscuits, sweets or fizzy stuff even bread and potatoes out. Rubbish I was eating by the bucket load Never thought that I would comfort eat. I have always been into sports and good eating so my body isn’t used to this rubbish all the time. I’ve also put myself onto a vitamin regime. I am now wondering what damage I have done to my body and hope it’s not permanent, because I’m beginning to feel my age this week and I don’t like it one bit.
I too find I can sleep. In the early days I just put the TV on and watched rubbish but now I can drop off reasonably well. Otherwise I read.
Getting into bed is a test, as little Bugsy makes it clear he’s getting his place and then Beepa rushes in and pushes all the bedclothes off us. I have to slide in via the pillows. I think I would have stayed in bed longer if it wasn’t for the dogs wanting their walk and I was always one to be up at the crack of dawn and out walking. Take care of yourself. Pat xxx

These things are all symptoms of grief aren’t they,sleeping too much,not sleeping enough,eating too much,not eating enough.My appetite is really poor,i’ve dropped over two stone and still loosing,so having to force feed myself.I am surprised by the physical side of grief,the emotional side is to be expected but the aches and pains the exhaustion ,the anxiety and inability to cope with everyday tasks etc has taken me by surprise,it takes over absolutely everything doesn’t it.I had never considered this before it happened to me .I suppose that’s why we are all such a support to each other because unless you’re on this horrible journey you haven’t a clue.Hope you all manage a bearable day.I will go to the cemetery later and walk the dogs by the river near where Roy is resting.Love to all Corinna xx

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