So sad and lost

Tonight I went to see my dear hubby in the chapel of rest. I’ve not seen him since the night of the 18th of June, when I had to identify him , after he took his own life in a very traumatic way. I’m so stunned by it all and it just doesn’t seem real…tomorrow’s his funeral and I really have no idea how I get through it all. I’m not ready to say goodbye and leaving him tonight was so very hard. My 3 adult children are also suffering and it was very hard watching them say goodbye to him. We have been married for 33 years, and together for over 35 years. We married when I was 22, so it’s been a long time, sharing our lives. I just can’t see a future for me without him. I didn’t know it was possible to feel so heartbroken …

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Hi Babs
Hope it helps that I was thinking about you yesterday, and that you got through OK
Why was I thinking about you?
I had buried my wife the day before, she had died of liver cancer on 17th June.
Incredible coincidence that we too had been married for 33 years in March and so known each other for a similar amount of time.

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Xxx

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Sorry for the slow reply, but every time I tried to enter my post, a message came up saying there was an error and try again.
It was a very hard day, saying my final goodbye to him. I still can’t accept that I will never see or hear him again though. The house is so empty and quiet…
I’m trying to work through all the endless paperwork that a sudden death brings, seems like all I’m doing is reading and signing letters, when all I want to do is cry…
I hate living alone and I still can’t face doing anything, like sorting out his clothes etc.
The days seem so very long and empty without him. I find myself crying over silly things, then I get angry. I ripped up a cushion yesterday as I was so overwhelmed with it all…im not an angry person by nature, but lately , I seem to veer from anger to guilt in a blink.
I hope you are managing as well as you can with your very sad loss. I’ve been told that grief is the price we pay for loving someone…

Grief is definitely the price we pay I’m so sorry for you loss
I lost my partner in March he was 42 I’m 36 and life will never be the same for me again I miss his voice his touch everything
I must say take you time over the clothes thing all my marks clothes are still in the wardrobe and thats where they will stay until I’m ready although at the moment I don’t think I will ever get rid of them

I’m very sorry to read your sad news. Losing our partner is one of the most painful things we have to cope with. I can’t say I’m coping very well though, as each day seems to get harder, not easer. The sense of loneliness and isolation is really hitting home now. I look at his empty chair and cry. He should still be here with me, enjoying our lives. I know he has gone forever and I have to re- start living but how ? I have no answers…

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