SO SAD

Losing a partner
#1

I lost my dearest husband and friend a year ago. Still can’t stop crying and feeling sad. I miss him so much. I realise how precious those 50 years were though. He was chronically ill for the last few years but had also battled with TB, COPD, Pancreatitis in earlier years, so I was his carer too but he never complained, always played illness down. Then he got nephrotic syndrome and diabetes & had to battle these illnesses.

Keep replaying the last week of his life every day with what if and buts so wish I could have done more.

I have a small dog now which has helped me focus a bit & I have to get up to feed and walk him. My sons have been amazing and their partners so I feel their love!

We were together since 17 & 18 as teenagers.
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#2

Sorry for your loss I’m the same year next month feeling like I’m going backwards the tears don’t stop do they. I think we all feel like did we do enough I know we did everything for our husbands. Take care x

#3

My husband died nearly 9 months ago. Lately I too feel I am crying more, as if almost everything reminds me of how much I miss him and love him. I have to believe that we will get through, I think our husbands will know we did our very very best for them. Take care x

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#4

Thank you for your kind message much appreciated.

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#5

Hello @Seefeld. One of the biggest hurdles to get over when we are grieving is to think we could have done more. We cannot re-write history and however much we loved them we cannot prevent death. We are just not that powerful. We can only love their memory and remember that the illness is not who they were. Try to remember the man you loved. That is who he really was.
Love and light.x

#6

OMG!

I have no idea what you must feel like. I lost my soulmate more than 5.5 months ago, but we had 18 years of wonderful memories.
I felt like I had literally been cut in half. My problem was that he was my first husband, but he had decided to divorce his second wife, who had basically used him to provide for herself for the rest of her life. They both met on the rebound, if you see what I mean. He’d had a crash of his motorbike, which had cut his face in half, whilst her former fiancee who she had refused to go to bed with, had killed himself in a car crash 3 months after they split up.
She was pedantic, whilst he was a very kind and generous man. Her father was a GP, whilst her mother was a registered nurse, a theatre sister, as far as I know. He came from a family who had worked very hard to bring up 3 boys and a girl.
He was, like his father and mother, a genius, she had OCD. Her father gave her a drug that was then called Valium, but is know called diazepam. It was well known then as addictive.
She started to follow my husband like a dog, he told her to get off the drug.
After that, he decided to stay with her, because he was scared that otherwise his sons minds might be warped by her.
I am so sorry, but it is too hard for me to talk about publicly.
All I can say is, we are all grief stricken. I really do hope that you will find some help here.

Love, Christie xxx

#7

Hello @Christie. Life is hard enough for you without a background story like yours to think about. It does feel like being cut in half when we lose our soulmate and we wonder how we will cope without them. I feel sad for your loss Christie but we are all here for you so keep posting.
Love and light. x

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