After joining this forum tonight & reading eveyones horrendously sad stories i have got some comfort that im not a lone but what absolutely scares the pance off me is how long people feel like this im not 4 weeks into this awful thing called grief and i cant believe im going to survive years and years of it the pain in unbearable and from reading other people’s stories it doesn’t get much better which absolutely terrifies me 
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Hello, I’m 3.5 years down the line & I believe you do heal.
At the beginning I didn’t feel i could survive the pain & the shock, but with time passing you come to terms with the shock & are able to function.
I know I’ll always miss him & yes sometimes i have sad days now & again but it’s absolutely nothing like the early days, I can now smile & laugh, enjoy events & I can look at photos and smile at the memories.
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Hi there I’m new too just joined. My dad and my hero died suddenly 6 years ago and now just as things are getting great again mom was diagnosed stage 4 lung cancer 6. Months to live literally 3 weeks ago. For the first year of dad dying I didn’t realise I was deep in grief as I just got on with it and worked all the time. Then the next year year 2 I slowly turned from a social beer drinker twice a month kind of thing to drinking 10 pints a day. I would drink 5 pints in the afternoon and 5 pints after work. I didn’t even think twice that I had begun drinking more because of grief. The way I deal with it now 6 years on (non drinker) and how I will have to soon watch mom die is I believe dad is everywhere I go. Because they are my parents they are literally still alive in my blood and my memories. I have had many friends die young but its a different grief. No one can help you with your loss. For me personally it does not make me feel better knowing someone else is feeling this pain. All I can offer is when you are alone and on walks don’t feel terrified as they are still with you. You just have to close your eyes to see. I’m non religious but how can someone so amazing just be gone for good. They can’t they will always be in your memories. That’s the problem with the past. The past is always painful because it’s forever. So we need to find something that brings us peace. In regards to my mom it’s devastating and I’m already grieving but I hold onto the fantasy that my dad will be waiting for her to come home. All the best stevie
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I can’t agree with you more! I think the Christmas thing is making it all worse so take it easy on yourself and keep reading posts and above all, feel it all and know you are not alone! It’s an absolute rollercoaster but people cope in very different ways…
Lots of love
Sandra
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Hi I am 15 weeks in on losing my husband suddenly when he was at work offshore. I sometimes think that I could go mad , but the one thing I am trying to do when the anxiety strikes is to “stay in the moment” “stay in the moment “ , oh it’s not easy my heart is shattered into small pieces but if I just try to stay in the moment 
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That’s so tragic for you and I am so sorry to read what you’ve written - I do hope you have some support around you as you must be feeling terribly confused, sad and uncertain what the future holds. Keep looking at this forum to read others’ stories.
Much love
Sandra
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Thank you for your kind words Sandra 
I have a lovely support network but I know it’s me I don’t want them upset with me being upset . Our daughter goes back to Oz with her family in two weeks as well . My husbands brother dropped dead two days before his funeral and I sat with his mum who slipped away two weeks ago . You couldn’t write this 
thanks for listening 
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