So so sad

I have never written on a forum before and never thought I would but here I find myself.
My husband passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly 9 days ago.He was working away from home over 200 miles,we had to wait for a postmortem so I couldn’t see him and was only released from the mortuary 2 days ago,I got to see him at last yesterday. When I think of what’s happened I almost loose my breath and feel like I have been punched in the heart.I know nothing and no one can make any of this any better,it is devastating. His heart just gave up it would seem.
Due to covid his funeral is another 2 weeks.I know I have to get through this but not sure how I will.
Not knowing exactly what happened, the little details,not being with him,not wanting him to be scared is just too much.
Sorry for rambling,it seems to be all I can do,just can’t believe I can’t speak to him ever again.
Love to you all xxxx

So sorry for your loss
So hard my husband passed December the 5th
The pain is so unbearable my heart hurts so much
I am always sobbing and I can be anywhere when the sobbing
It so bloody unfair please take care and please text xx


@Kathrynh so sorry for everything you are going through. My partner died suddenly and unexpectedly too. I will never get over the shock. My beloved never had symptoms or signs beforehand, and I am sure had no idea of what was going to happen. We that are left behind want to know why, but unfortunately the answer isn’t forthcoming. I hope that you have some form of support nearby to help you. I cannot promise you an easy time. I wish I could. Just do the best you can for your husband’s funeral with the celebrant’s and funeral directors help. Try not to think you have to do/sort out everything at once. You will pick up ideas through this site from other people for things that may help you longer term. Everyone on here is struggling to cope. We all deal with things differently, but we are all suffering. I think we sometimes try to run before we can walk, and sometimes just stagger into an untidy heap. Hopefully we can all try and hold each other up. Best wishes.

1 Like

Girls - your losses is so recent! There isn’t much I can say that can take away your hurt and pain
I lost my lovey husband Jack nearly 28 months ago - my pain isn’t so raw but it is so deep
All you can do is to put one foot in front of the other - just do what you want!
And as I read once “ you learn to dance around the abyss
Sending you love
Sadie x


Thankyou for your kind words,sending much love and strength to you xxx

Thankyou for your kindness and taking the time to say something,
It means alot.
Sending love xxx

So so sorry, I feel your pain.
I lost mine nov.20th.
It was 3 days before our 35th anniversary.
It was heart wrenching.
He had a heart attack in front of me when I woke up.
It was all so quick.
Then he was gone.
The feelings of loss are horrendous
Take your time to heal, don’t rush, all will fall into place
So many people say, oh time is a healer. No it is not. Really it is what you do to to comfort yourself and how you spend your time. That’s what can heal you.
If you pray, you can ask for comfort.
Take care

Hi Kathrynh

So much sadness for your heart to contain. No wonder you feel you’ve been punched in the heart and can’t breathe. The latter two are very much feelings of grief and will only get easier with time. Please keep coming here and expressing your feelings as it does help to share. Others here all know how you’re feeling and we all have compassion for you and what you’re going through. Big hugs RedPoppy

Hi Kathryn
My husband Paul passed away 3 days ago I feel the same feeling winded with unexpected grief like a sledgehammer.

Grief does affect your body physically as well as mentally. A lot have described an almost stone-like painful hard lump in the chest. That is our broken heart. At first it seems constant. A few months in it is intermittent. After that I don’t know yet but, at times of feeling overwhelmed, it goes back to constant. I found the painful lump scary. I am scared of the future. The fight to find a new normal goes on. Wish I could have kept the lovely safe fun and laughter filled old normal. Good luck to everyone else on this journey that we didn’t choose.


Dear Kathrynh

I am in awe of you message. My heart goes out to you. How in 9 days you have found the strength and courage to send an inspirational message like this I’m astounded. I commend you your loved one would be pleased. If your husband didn’t die of covid things are more relaxed. My husband died suddenly of a brain heamorrhage an hospital allowed us in to visit.

You need answers and I will continue to obtain answers for your peace of mind. You have a right to discuss your late husbands care/treatment with his physician. Therefore with the same energy you’ve written your message continue to pursue an answer.

I obtained from access to medical records all my late husbands details who died on the 16 January.

You will find great support on this community line as I have done.

It hurts its painful our lives are taking a new path.
I’m 7 weeks in however each day is so different you are not rambling your sharing as we each do and we are hear to listen.

I wish you peace at this time please get support around you losing your husband 9 days ago suddenly will throw you into shock. Please know you will make it. I’m crying all the time in private not wanting to upset children any further.

There is support around this online community is a start. Wish you well.