So suddenly

My husband of 30 years died of a heart attack twelve weeks ago. He was only 54 years old. Although we have a beautiful family , I feel like the pain is getting worse. These dark evenings aren’t helping. How do I go on? When will this ever get easier ? Sorry , Kim .

Hi Kim,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I am so sorry to hear about the death of your husband. Twelve weeks is still very recent and it is not unusual to feel as though the pain is getting worse - this may be because the initial shock has worn off.

The advice that we most often see on this site is to be kind to yourself, take things day by day and give yourself a chance to grieve. Try not to bottle up your emotions.

I’m glad that you’ve found this online community and I hope that it helps a tiny bit to have this outlet. You are among people who understand.

For example, you might find it helpful to read and maybe reply to these recent conversations between other people who lost their partners suddenly:

If there’s anything I can help with, or you have any questions about the site, just let me know.

Thank you so much, kind regards Kim .

Hello Kim
I empathise with you. I lost my Husband 5 weeks ago now. He’d had a massive heart attack on New Years Day. He survived that but died of heart failure after 5 weeks in hospital. I was with him and witnessed what must have been a further and fatal heart attack. This haunts me but then I think would I have felt easier if this had happened on the street somewhere or anywhere else in fact and the answer is definitely ‘no’. That would haunt me much more. It hurts beyond words doesn’t it. I wish I had just even one last day but heart attacks don’t make concessions or wait about for you to have one last hug. I feel incredibly desperate and alone, as we all do I guess. Take care.

Thank you Tina for your kind reply. So sorry that you too have lost your husband. My husband was found collapsed in the street by a kind Samaritan that gave him CPR, unfortunately he still passed away a few hours later. It was also discovered that he had been robbed. I still feel like I’m living in a nightmare. My adult children and family have been brilliant . Do you have some support? I do try to take one day at a time , I hope you can, kind regards Kim .

Hello Kim, I sent you a private message.