So…..this is the limbo/purgatory they speak of

I had his funeral back in January, his possessions/whole life piled up in my spare room. What now?
I can’t bear to go through them just yet, last night I had a really bad night, it catches your breath, totally out of the blue.
I tried to think of who to reach out to, and even though I have amazing friends and family none of them fitted the need. None of them know how I’m feeling.
I have a picture that I put up in my hallway, I bought it for him during a really trying time, he always had it above his mantle and spoke of it often. I kiss that picture everyday now.

Where do I go from here, I’m lost…….I’m literally just existing. I walk the beach every night with my dogs and see happy families, couples…I’m 44 and it feels like my life is over.


I know how that feels. I lost my husband ten months ago and feel the same as I did when he first passed. People say it gets better with time. That’s so not true. I am heartbroken and can see a way through this. I feel i am drowning in my own tears. I wake up every morning wondering how I will face another day. Life seems so cruel and unfair. I don’t have any answers x


Just knowing I’m not alone is a small comfort. You have all these ‘crazy’ thoughts in your head continuously with no outlet.
I used to speak with him several times a day to offload them…discuss, no one got me like he did. I know exactly how you feel x


You are so right when you say nobody got you like he did. Pete used to say that all the time about us.
We were happiest when it was just us two in our bubble.
I too have all these mad thoughts in my head and it’s not easy to talk about them.
It really helps me to know there are other people who understand what we are all going through.
It is unfair and my life is nothing without my other half.
Its been 3 months for me and so far it has not got any easier, I feel so lonely and lost.

Muldool x


I totally understand in my spare room is john electronic guitars he was fantastic a talented man there I everything in there can’t go in just shut door will deal with it in my time and so will you lv annie x x


That’s the thing isn’t it - the one person who got us, how we would want to talk to and open up to, isn’t here at the time we need them the most.


How do I stop feeling the world is a scary place

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Nel I totally understand I’m scared of my own shadow I have from a confident person to a nervous wreck hate going out take care lv annie x

You are so right they are not here when we need them the most, Roy always said ‘ as long as there are the two of us we can sort anything ‘ and we always did get things sorted now I look at the mountain of paperwork that still needs to be sorted and just don’t have the heart to do if every time I have to fill in that terrible date of death On a form I just shake and the tears start to flow again It is seven months now and it seems to get harder every day