So unhappy

I lost my beloved husband 3 weeks ago to CJD, a devastating illness. I cry most of the day and feel so alone, exhausted and not sure I can face life on my own. Friends say things will get better but at the moment I feel my life is over and all I want is my husband.

Hi Tvpoldgirl,

I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. It sounds as though things are very
tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed.
I think you could really do with some support and I’m glad that you’ve been
able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There is lots of other support out
there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone
about how you are feeling.
The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s
bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to
counselling or other support services in your area.
We offer online bereavement counselling to members of this community.
This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can
attend from home. There’s more information about this service here:
https://support.sueryder.org/bereavement-counselling

You deserve care and support so please, Tvpoldgirl, get in touch with one of
these services.
If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999, go to A&E or
contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Take care,
Hazel
Online Community team

Hello Tvpoldgirl,
just seen your post and my heart goes out to you. I too know that horrible feeling of being totally alone and the only thing you can do is sit and cry. Your friends are right it does get easier because it becomes part of you and crying helps to release some of the pain. Hazel is right get help, I say help but what it does is let’s someone else hear and feel some of your pain but it also shows you ways of dealing with it each day. It very difficult and no one tells you beforehand what it’s going to be like but you will get through it, it will make you stronger but you will be a different person. Hard for you to see that right now, just say to your self that’s another day I have managed, I can and will do this it’s, what I have to do.
Always remember there are lots of us who true soul mate had to go because there human body couldn’t take any more, he will be there waiting for you and as daft as it seems, at times he will be there helping you. Get help and don’t be afraid of asking for help, my local hospice have a support team but there’s help out there.
You take care of yourself, walking and proper food helps.
God bless you.
Sxxx

Thank you Susie for your kind and comforting words. I have registered for bereavement counselling with Cruse and the Hospice and hope that will help. In the meantime the GP has given me some medication which gives a little bit of relief to the overwhelming feelings of despair and hopelessness. I can’t see the point of living since I feel as if I died too when John died. Life holds no meaning anymore. Bxxx

Hiya I’m so sorry for your loss, I too lost my husband 3weeks ago to throat cancer within 6 weeks of being diagnosed, I really feel your pain every day is a struggle just to get up and wash your face but I really urge you to pick up the phone to someone and just talk for me it was 3 weeks on Saturday and like yourself it was a bad day I picked up the phone to the Samaritans and the lady was fantastic she just let me talk about how I felt and gave me some hope, at the moment it doesn’t feel like it’s going to get better I have made an appointment to see my doctor and I urge you to do the same we need help to cope with these feelings and shouldn’t be afraid to ask. I know deep down that both our husband would not have left us through choice and I take comfort in that, all I can say is keep talking get your feelings out I know it’s hard thinking of you

Hello Liz, I think I will ring the Samaritans because I cannot live like this. I think about him every minute and am so very unhappy with everything around me, I’m frightened of the future and don’t want to carry on by myself. Thank you for your kind thoughts. Barbara

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Hello Liz, I took your advice and rang the Samaritans this morning. It was such a relief because the gentleman I spoke to seemed very caring and understanding. He said I could ring anytime even 3 times a day if I needed to.
I went to the doctor and have a prescription, he was also very understanding and sympathetic. I still feel tearful and very unhappy but talking is helping. Thinking of you, Barbara.

Hello again Barbara
I totally empathise all your words on here having lost my wife suddenly 3 weeks ago.
The house she loved is now an empty void with me drowning in grief.
Unless anyone has been in this God awful position they have no idea in the slightest how we feel, both morning noon and night.
People say it will get better …why do I want it to get better …my wife is no longer with me how can it get better …its not like my favourite budgie has just died and I’ll get over it .
I still have the tight knot in my stomach …I have photos all over but I still smile at the times they were taken .
Honestly I can’t wait for the time we are back together like we should be.
Take care
Mark

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Hi Barbara, I am so pleased that you have taken to trying to sort out the grieving thing, be careful with the prescription drugs, read the leaflet and only use them for the shortest of time. The talking is far more beneficial and is there in the long term.
You do sound more positive and you will deal with the way things are, it’s a long hard road and I know we all change because of it but you will win through, I can say that in the first few months I did nothing only cry but time moves on and so do we as human beings. Look to tomorrow and things will improve, honestly.
Blessings to you.
S xxx

Thank you Susie, I am still crying most of the time, I miss John so much. I will be careful with the drugs, I know they are only a short term measure but I feel so wretched I felt I had to do something.
Thank you again, Barbara

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