Well done YOU for sharing.
No wise words just understanding.
Love and hugs x
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Dear DWP I am sorry to hear your pain, I hope @Kalaila replies to your post though she hasn’t been on here for a while. Your post made me read hers and I didn’t realise it was old until I had finished it.
My wife was given five months to live at 58 after a cancer diagnosis. She managed to live two years and died in my arms on Christmas day. Even after having two years to prepare for this outcome when she died I felt I was being ripped apart. The pain was unbearable, I used exercise as a way of controlling the suffering I was going through. Thanks to the exercises and the walking I managed to get through the first three months of pain which were the worst. That pain started to go, it was replaced by an emptiness that can’t be filled so I carry on walking and exercising. I find being in nature helps, I try to find beautiful things to share with my wife each day. I try not to think of the future it is a bit of an illusion anyway, we may think we have one but as we have seen we may not. Each day is a day to make my wife smile at me, I don’t know if I am successful but that is my goal. She was as Kalaila said about her loved one much better than me so I try and reflect a little bit of her light that she dazzled me with everyday.
I hope you find your way
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Wishing you all the best Tom
Thank you for your kind words Tom. It is helpful to hear from others on how they got through it. Before this I would normally walk and exercise to stay healthy so can understand how that helped you, but right now I have such little energy that everything feels like an effort. I think my shock is starting to fade in little moments and the sadness that’s filling those gaps is much worse than anything I’ve felt yet.
My partner was an amazing man so I want to find ways to reflect that as you say, but right now all I can feel is pain and sadness and I don’t think there’s anything anyone can do to help.
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I’d like to hear what happened if you wish to share. Anthony.
Dear SWP I hope you find what works for you. I found this site to be a great help as it allows you to express your feelings without worrying about what people think. There still is a day that goes by that I don’t cry for my wife but the tears aren’t always as painful as they were.
Wishing you all the best Tom
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