It’s 5 years since I lost my husband and last year I promised myself I would have a holiday this year.
Guess what? Still no holiday. Not brave enough.
Has anyone taken the huge step to travel alone. I’m sure it would help my confidence but not sure I can manage solo.
Thank you for reading this.
Kind regards
Verity
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Hello @Verity - firstly, you have made it to five years, which is a huge achievement on its own. Travelling alone is a not easy - that is for sure, but I promise you, it gets easier the more you do it. I had to travel alone quite a bit after Tom died. The first couple of times were really hard - I was so aware of his absence. I would always reach for his hand on take off - and this was no longer possible. I had to steel myself and get on with it. The thing is, once you have done it, you can see the way to doing it again. As with so many things with grief, the anticipation of an event - like the funeral, the first anniversary, etc, are always, at least for me, worse than the reality. Why not start with a holiday that is super easy to do. In the UK, so if you don’t like it, you can get back easily. Try something that is organised - like a coach trip or something like that. That way, someone else is leading and you get to sit back and literally, enjoy the ride. If that works, then you might feel more adventurous - a cruise, say, or a trip to the sunshine. Try a travel agent and ask them for advice - they will be used to this situation and are sure to be kind. Finally, my friend, I am sure you can manage solo - you absolutely can. You have come all this way solo - and you are standing tall, planning a holiday. You have got this, you can do it. Let us know how you get on - your friends are right here for you. x
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I agree with @Vancouver, just give it a go. I found some holidays easy and some difficult. I found the easiest ones were those when I could choose solitude when I wanted it, but also mix with others if I wanted that. If Im permanently with a crowd of others, I got more lonely. Being lonely in a crowd was terrible if I couldnt escape
You can do it, but it needs work and bravery. Good luck.
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Hi,
@Verity, I know this is a big step, & something totally new. Our loved ones wouldn’t want us to avoid doing things just because they aren’t there anymore, they would want us to have the best life we can have, the fact your questioning this tells me you want to go on holiday, you want to travel & see nice places, there’s nothing wrong with wanting a good & happy life, it’s healthy to do these things. In one of my psychology books, it says “no-one does with an empty in tray” which means, when people pass, they always have things they were looking forward to, or planning to do, or said they would do someday, but one day, it’ll be there last, so make the most of the time you have, & don’t keep putting things off for tomorrow because someday tomorrow won’t come. I’m sure when we do, our loved ones are there in spirit, I know this will feel hard first time, but go for it. One of my favourite sayings is “a woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is till she’s in hot water,” as @Vancouver suggested, start with something simple in the UK, you can do this. Sending hugs of support.
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Hi there yea I’ve travelled alone all the way to Australia to stay with a cousin and his family. John was never keen on long haul so when I was asked to visit after he died I decided to do it. Even stopped in Singapore on the way. It was tricky at time but got there in the end. We always loved our holidays - John more than me - so know he would be so proud 
not sure I would do a whole holiday alone but I’m off to Tenerife in 4 weeks with a friend and gonna make aure I have a good time. I will not let grief determine my life, I will not let it win. I intend to live the remainder of the my life the best way I can. That doesn’t mean John is forgotten exactly the opposite. I feel he is beside me every step of the way xx
Georgina
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Hi. I lost my husband 2 year ago. I have had a few holidays with friends since. Then as no one was available I took myself off to Ibiza last month and it was lovely to relax and chill, no-one knowing your business and your situation. I will definitely do it again. So give it ago, even if it’s just a weekend away to start with. Take Care
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Hi Verity Its 3 years since I lost my husband . I am like you wanting to go on holiday. I was looking at coach holidsys for solo travellers and got right up to pressing the book button and chickened out. I know they will be all in the same boat as me alone but its just so scary going on my own . Marlene
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That was a brave thing to do so well done dont think id have the confidence to do it xxx
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Hi i think.every one would be on their own and feeling nervous So press that button you never know it might change your life xxx
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Hello Verity,
My partner and I lived some distance apart and halfway was Ipswich … it became our favourite hotel to stay, well over thirty times in nine years
We had a booking for a four night stay in 2020 but due to Covid kept having to put in back, I made a booking for February 2021 but she sadly died suddenly and unexpectedly just before Christmas 2020 …
Funeral was in February, I kept putting the booking back until I finally bit the bullet and was set to go from Friday to Tuesday, same hotel, same staff, same locations (Southwold has been my go to place ever since) and I won’t deny it was a total disaster, lasted until Sunday and then came home
Took me a while but in 2022 did half a dozen solo visits, same place, the last time just a few weeks ago and it did get easier, took my kids and their partners and my first grandchild to visit the area we both loved so much and that helped too
So … it is tough, very tough, was in London only yesterday with my daughter, her partner and his parents, and we went to a Gin Festival we used to go to before Covid and since, the last time was together, and that was hard, cried on the train on the way back
Stay strong, depressing undernote was I got a speeding ticket on the way there in 2022 from a movable speed camera, a constant reminder of the date on my driving licence I got ‘done’! xx
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The most successful holiday I had, which proved I could do it, was when I booked a shepherds hut on a remote farm in Pembrokeshire. Described in the brochure as a “glamping holiday”.
All I could see was a wide green valley with cows, sheep and red kites.
Every day I spent time on the decking, eating, furtling on my guitar, reading a book and contemplating my navel, whilst my two dogs snored at my feet. Within 30 minutes, there are many small coastal villages, so every day I picked one to visit and spent time walking on the beach, chatting to all and sundry, and lunch and pint at a pub or cafe (more chatting to people).
If I saw someone sitting on their own, I asked if I could join them. Never been turned down, and had many lovely conversations. Admittedly, my dogs are fantastic at making friends, especially the ladies!
What was important to me was that I could spend time with people, yet have somewhere I could return to my safe solitude.
Id love to go on a cruise, where I could choose to chat or be alone, but my dogs make it impossible. A bus holiday could never work for me, no escape!!!
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Thank you so much everyone. I have read your replies over and over. Each time the voice in my head tells me I can do it.
All I have to do now is do it
I’m so pleased I posted my message I don’t feel so alone now
I’m sending everyone kind thoughts and lots of hugs
Thank you again
Verity
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You have got this, @Verity - now, where’s that holiday brochure? Time for a coffee and some serious browsing! Let us know where you choose, your friends on here are cheering you on x
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You go girl! 
Give us updates from your holiday, plus an odd photo of you smiling and enjoying yourself! Have a great time!