someone else's father...

i deal in customer service…and today i took a call from this young lady who had to deal with all the paperwork as her father is now dying (from lung cancer). the desperation and sadness in her voice struck a chord in my heart…i KNEW EXACTLY where she is coming from as I was there just under a year ago (my father passed away 10/1/17).
i just wanted to hug her and tell her she’s doing so well and that she’s being so brave to hold the family together and doing her best to deal with stuff on her father’s behalf…
again, i knew EXACTLY what that was like.
it seemed like a lifetime ago…but it hasn’t been that long since my own ordeal.
it seemed like i’ve gotten over it…and yet, i’d be driving home from work and burst into tears for no apparent reason.
it seemed like he’s gone…and yet, i’d see a video uploaded onto facebook and i’d be looking out for him as though he’d be there…
and i’d be laughing and having a fantastic time but he is not there for me to share my stories, to tell him i’m doing really well and that i’m happy.
i miss him.

hi Sheila,
Thank you so much for your reply, i find it most comforting…that I’m not the only one who does this or feel this way. thank you.
i would sometimes read his messages on whatsapp…don’t know why i do it as it just breaks my heart when i do !
i have a bagfull of his clothes and stuff i took from his home which i’d touch and smell and look at his beautiful handwriting…and again, it just broke my heart.
but i wear his ring on my finger and each time it catches the sun i knew that he is close to me and we go everywhere together…

i guess that’s it…not being able to make anymore new memories with them that hurts.
i feel so scared sometimes i’d forget some of the old ones

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