RoseGarden
Yes it is odd today too plumber to do the boiler. He used to sort that out.
All steep learning curve.
He used to chat to him.
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Yes, the same here.
I relied on him so much. I knew I did but I think I didn’t realise the total extent .
I recognised the many, many things he did but I suppose I took some things for granted.
For instance, I need to get some lightbulbs for the kitchen and then fit them.
He did that. Something that he and many others would find a tiny thing to do but I have no idea which type of bulb.
It seems like another huge thing to deal with now I have to do it alone.
I have brought some steps in from the garage and tomorrow when is popping in she can hold the steps for me.
It is one more thing that emphasises the loss and the loneliness.
Big hugs x
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When I write the loss I don’t mean I’ve lost the handyman, I mean I have lost the love of my life who had been with me for nearly 50 years. Who made me feel whole, secure, loved and completed me.
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That sounds like us.
Yes, I feel like I took him granted as well.
However, I tell myself It was the roles we slipped into but I now realise how much
he did.
You have achieved so much, you should be proud.
I haven’t done that much but today I did a very, very small thing.
I went up a set of steps and unscrewed a light bulb that wasn’t working.
Thanks to a friend I now know which bulb I need to get.
Again, something I would have left to my husband. Another tiny First.
There have been a couple of other small things but definitely nothing on the scale of your Firsts.
Take care x
Oh thats me too. My husband did all the stuff around the house, dealt with the cars, booked holidays etc.
I had to ask for help fitting a hinged lid to a plastic compost bin I bought. Im hapoy though because it took 2 people to do it.
Im trying to sort out a holiday to Sicily my husband booked for us. I dont remember him doing it. The tour company are making it sound so difficult, but I’m determined to go alone if I can.
Next I have to find someone to look at a problem i have with an outside door.
Every day it’s small steps and a steep learning curve.
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I am impressed with what you have achieved, I really am.
It is a really steep learning curve. It also highlights how much I relied on him!
Take care and be proud of what you’ve achieved x
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Hi I don’t think you need to put a time limit on anything everyone is different. If you think you had a lifetime of loving your wife how can those feelings go in a year . Just do what is best for you .
Hugs to you 
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Totally agree.
The other day, I worked out how many days I had been with my husband, it was so many thousands.
Then I worked out how many days since he was last with me, in the tens.
So this made me think, how can I get over many thousands of days of love in tens of days of despair? Obvious answer, I can’t.
Still, have horrible days but this helped in a very, very tiny way to lessen the pressure to ‘come to terms’ with my wonderful husband not being here with me.
Take care everyone xx
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I was surprised reading just seems like he was just a handyman but to me doing things I now realise is part of how love is expressed. He could have been an irresponsible person ignoring things like some people do.
But it was part of why I know i loved about him that he wasn’t lazy. Had he not died he wouldn’t have been able to do these things with one and a half legs as he had an amputation a week before he died anyway.
Had he not died then he would have been able to tell me how to do these things. However not for long anyway with what I now know about the progression of his illness. So I would have had to do it all and care for him and myself. I couldn’t have physically coped. But I know he would have been able to tell me how to do it.
That would have been a big help.