This may not be the support group for me. My Son took his life May 5,2017. How do you ever let go of that.
Hi im very sorry for your loss and yes it is the right group.There are others on here (im not 1 of them ) who have a lost a loved 1 to suicide adult or child Colin
hello Marlie I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved son my heart and prays go out to you and your family and I pray god gives you strength. I myself also loss my son through sucide in 2013 he had not long turned 21. We are two different individuals and people experience and cope with loss differently than the other though there are times that the pain can be so the same which was discovered to me when i attended a group for people who lossed a love one to suicide. Many of the people in the group felt how i was feeling and thinking it was strange but i felt that the only people who could understand my grief and pain were strangers in the support group. my faith keeps me standing however i will often say im a lost soul my sons passing still seems like yesterday. please dont suffer alone and maybe look at attending a support group for suicide survivors im sorry that i cant be of much help but a mother to another mother i understand your pain as i am writing this message may god be with you
Thank you so much for taking the time to offer me encouragement. It means a lot.
Hello Marlie. I would like to say if you need someone to talk to please do not hesitate to text. If I can be any support I will as I no how hard it is. It was only by the of chance I told myself let me check up on the Sue Ryder forum and I came across your deeply sad mesg. My heart went out to you incidentally and I felt I needed to reply to you. So when ever you need to talk as i said dont hesitate
People just expect after 8 months I should be done grieving. I’ve lost a piece of my heart. It’s like losing an arm or leg. There’s that constant reminder. The pain blindsides me. I will never be the same me. They can’t accept that. I really appreciate you taking the time to listen. Sometimes, I just need to talk.
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Hello Marlie. People who have not gone through lossing a child may not understand because they are not the ones having to deal with a loss of a child. Your not alone with hearing you must be strong or you should stop grieving when I went to the support group people that I talked to there experienced those same words to. Like I said Marlie its been 4 years and I still grieve for the loss of my son and his loss has changed me tremendously. Grieving is a process of self-healing talking about how your feeling, crying asking questions the big WHY if we as human beings do not grieve then that is dangerous in its self to are own well-being. You may grieve untill the end but you will learn to cope with the grieve in a more positive way if that makes sense for example i will always grieve till the end but I now deal with my grieve in away that i can function in everyday life because I have to i have to other childern and thats what my son would wont for me is to look after his sisters and my well being. So when people say to you Marlie its been 8 months you should not grieve you are you and they are them its you that has suffered such a tragic loss if your grieving 2years down the line thats your grieve and know one elses. I dont no tge area that you live but i will gather the information of the support group i attended and will send over the name and address and see if its in your area. If im correct on the area i remember getting of at warren st train station and the support group was not far from the station i only went once because i wad suffering from panick attacks after my loss but as sad as it was it was so comforting in away to be around people who understood the loss of someone through sucide the pain your thoughts your feelings as i said before your not alone you need to talk i will be on the other end to listen god bless
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Hi Marlli , 8 months is nothing to grieve we lost our daughter Dawn 13months, ago and I know what you are saying the way I feel is when I talk about Dawn which I want to do as I don’t want anyone to forget her I feel they are thinking oh why does she keep on about it she should be over it by now , I will never get over loosing her how could I she was my rock evan when I went to see a medium ,all she wanted to do was heal me , I told her I don’t want healing ,I just want my Dawn back, I still have I councillor come every 4weeks and I can tell her anythink, so sometimes she is a god send when no one else wants to listen. take care Maddie
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I guess they think if they don’t talk about them we will forget them. I’m so sorry on the loss of your precious Dawn. My Anthony took his life 2 days before Mother’s Day. How do I not take that personally? Anytime you would like to share more about Dawn, Please reach out to me.
I agree. The fact it was a suicide makes it more complicated. I feel everyone is judging me as his mother, and I don’t want anyone talking badly about my son. I can’t get that visual out of my head. That’s one reason I don’t want to go to a physical support group.
You sound a lovely and caring Mother I don’t think anyone will doubt that ,and why should anyone think badly of your son you don’t know what demons were going through his mind at the time even a Mother can’t read that fully … I feel pity and sorrow for both you and your son and hoping you can find peace of mind soon…Take care xx
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Hi Marlie and Nina,
I hope you don’t mind me dropping in to this conversation, but I just wanted to let you know that we have a new user today called Pauline, who has also lost her son to suicide. If either of you would like to talk to her, you can read and reply to her post here: https://support.sueryder.org/community/losing-child/no-one-understands-my-pain
I’m sure she’d appreciate hearing from someone in a similar situation if you feel able to.
Priscilla
Community Manager
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Hi MarlieC, my oldest son Scott took his own life 66 days ago, I don’t think we as a mother will ever let go or get by! I am struggling on a day 2 day basis even getting out of bed is a chore!! I have to focus on my other 2 boys & my grandchildren although my life will never be the same again & I don’t want to go to see a grief counsellor so I’m hoping to connect & talk to people who understand or can relate to my darkest times!!! xxxx
I am so sorry you have to be on this journey. I never dreamed in a million years this would happen. The best advice I received was to just remember to breathe. I couldn’t do anything else. My soul hurts and my heart will never be whole again. Take as much time as you need. When the tears come, let them fall. Don’t fight it. Remember, It’s ok to smile. After awhile you will catch yourself smiling and that’s ok. My greatest help has been my faith in God. I have prayed and prayed and he has given me comfort. I’m available to listen anytime you want to talk. Just know that you aren’t on this journey alone.
Thank you so much for saying that. My mindset is that I’m his mom and I should have been able to save him… If I had only know.