Son

I’m struggling, I lost my 16 Yr old in a car accident, 7 yrs ago my other boys are 15,18,22, don’t really need me anymore, I can’t cause them this pain so I won’t act on it buts thats what makes it soo hard I just want to go to sleep x

Dear Lee1976,

Have you had any contact with other mothers who have lost a son? Or any bereavement support since you lost him? I cannot begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling, I think that only those who have gone through the same experience can fully understand your struggle, but as a mother I know that the bond with a child is something very special and if the pain of the loss is as deep as the love we have for a child it must at times feel unbearable.

You write that your other boys are your reason to keep living, but that you do not think they need you any more. I think I disagree. They may not show it, or say it, but you are their mum and you are special to them. There will still be many times in their lives when they will need you, and when they just want you to be there for them. And maybe, in time, they will also be there for you and realise that mothers have needs too and would like to hear from time to time that they are loved and appreciated.

I hope that you will get replies from other mothers, or fathers, on this site who have posted about the loss of their child. You may also want to have a look at two other sites that offer specific support for bereaved parents, or for those who lost someone due to a traffic accidents, These are the links: https://www.tcf.org.uk/ and https://www.roadpeace.org/support/

Sending you a big virtual hug,
Jo

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Thankyou so much for your response, this is the first time I’ve reached out for help, I just don’t feel needed anymore I don’t feel like I have a purpose other than to provide food, work n clean, im not needed x

Hello Lee1976,

Thank you so much for reaching out on this forum.

Following on from Jo’s reply, I would like to give you the telephone numbers for the links they have posted.

The Compassionate Friends is for families who have lost a child of any age. 0345 123 2304. Jo’s link: https://www.tcf.org.uk/

And, 0845 4500 355, is the number for Road Peace. Jo’s link: http://www.roadpeace.org/support/.

Please know we are here for you, Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.

Take care,
Audrey,
Online Community Team

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