son

Losing a child
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I lost my son 4 years ago to bowel cancer. He was only 39. Im still not coping with the loss. Some days im ok, then next day im all over the place. Just look at his photos and ask why him. He didnt derserve this. He got diagnosed and 3 weeks later he was gone. He lived on his own. He did have a form of muscular dystophy. He struggled with his legs but wasnt in a wheelchair. He loved supporting Manchester united. He worked at old trafford for awhile when he left college. He loved his darts on tv and going to watch them in blackpool. I miss him so much. I wasnt with him when he passed away due to covid and family matters.

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Hello @sssuuusan2013,

I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your son that brings you here.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share some resources that might help you right now.

  • Child Bereavement UK support families with the loss of a child. They also support bereaved children. You can call their helpline on 0800 02 888 40.

  • The Compassionate Friends support families who have lost a child of any age. They have a grief companion scheme where you can get 1-1 support from another bereaved parent. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.

Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.

You may also wish to connect with @Pest, whose son also sadly died from cancer.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Seaneen

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I lost my on 17th July 2023 , he had special needs he was 47 . He was in shelter housing with Mencap . He had cerebral palsy on one side,moderate learning disability, epilepsy and under active thyroid. But he lived lifer to the full , being independent going out by himself with his friends. He had no symptoms until the end of march beginning April he started to complain of pains in his spine and hip. Doctor said it was muscular to rub deep heat in ,I tried to get physio .He had to get accessed first ,physio said muscular.She would put him on the waiting list but the list was about 3 months long.
The end of April he could not get out of bed,the pain was so bad.Got him to hospital ,the young doctor in A&E said she could feel a lump on his hip. The scan showed he had a mass on his hip and spine . Secondary bone cancer,they could not find primary.About a week before he died they said they found a 20mm cancer ulcer on the lesser curve of the stomach ? He was on medication for epilepsy ,and thyroid for over 20 years I do wonder if that was any thing to do with it. I wonder also when people are on long term meds that they don’t test them every so often. I read on the internet that people with learning disability are 3 times more likely to die of cancer it does make you wonder why. It does hurt so much , the day before he was eating his dinner in hospital it was also quick.

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Hello. So sorry for what you are going through. Good for your son that he lived his life to the full, my daughter did too. When we hear these things, we do wonder whether it is inadequate/slow care, or whether the wretched cancer is just doing it’s thing. Much of the time we will never know. Sending love.

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Cancer is such a horrible thing, it hides and attacks time and time again , it is our biggest enemy. They say 1 in 2 people under 50 will get some sort of cancer,that is 50% of the population?

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Yes my poor son got bowel cancer and passed away 3 weeks after diagnosis.

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