Thought I would tidy shed out this morning. Wish I hadn’t now, found all my old birthday cards from Jim and letters he used to send me when he worked away. Have to say I started to cry and can’t seem to stop now the flood gates have been opened. It’s so hard this rotten life we now have. Feel so depressed then feel guilty for feeling depressed with all the awful things happening in the world. My mental health is as low as it can get and I’m now gone back to bed feeling absolutely devastated.
I understand Misprint. I too lost my Husband several years ago and haven’t started this task. I lost a parent though in December and have been sorting and tidying in the last few days. I too wished I hadn’t. The cards, crafts, old school books etc. I became tearful wondering where those 3 little children “went” because it all seems like it happened to some other person. I have Anxiety/Depression and it’s certainly not easy is it. I don’t like to say how bad I’m feeling to Drs with stuff that’s happening to others but a counsellor did say that because there is suffering elsewhere it doesn’t magically diminish our own or make it any less valid. You needn’t feel bad about feeling bad.
It’s probably the shock that’s unsettled you. You may feel different later. You may be able to carry on with it but if not, it doesn’t matter. Save it for another day.
Thank you Tina for your kind words. Everything seems to have gone. Today I cancelled our holiday we had booked for May. it’s all just to much
Did you find some comfort in seeing the notes from Jim
You had a loving husband that loved you so much that he took time to send you the notes
Of course memories flood back and put you in that sad place
To be honest we are always in that sad place but we take pleasure now and then with small things even if it just going for a walk hearing birds sing
You have ever right to feel the way that you do
Don’t apologise for how you feel
You have loss the love of your life
Life is so different now
So if your having a bad Day have a BAD day tomorrow might be better
Leave sorting the shed and shed your tears as you read all the lovely messages from Jim
He loved you
And nobody can take that away from you
Sending my love
Thank you scottie for taking Time to reply . And yes your right we will have lots of times when it’s just unbearable and times when we can smile and have good memories. At the moment I can’t foresee the good times early days for me but we just do day to day and hope for best xx
It’s our Wedding Anniversary soon. By chance the other day I opened a drawer and found previous years cards there. There were three from June and one from me for our 40th. I got very upset.
June had obviously saved them which is unusual as Birthday and Christmas cards have all gone.
I intend to put all the cards up on the day after reading them again carefully. I will no doubt be very upset on the day. I will be visiting June to take flowers.
We are all suffering the same hurt. I hope you are feeling stronger soon. Take care all.
What a hard journey we are all on it’s horrible I find that I am coming in here more now as know one really wants me to go on about how I am feeling I feel lost and angry I wish it was this time last year and I would be enjoying life with my husband we was so happy and he was taken suddenly just feel it is harder can not believe how I am ticking along 9 months some times I just want to talk about it xxx
It was 12 weeks yesterday that June suddenly and unexpectedly collapsed sat in her chair in front of me. I will never get over the shock and the loss of June. Take care and stay safe. Tony
So sorry for your sudden loss must have been such a shock it’s a tough journey we are all on it’s 9 months for me suddenly losing my husband and it does not feel any easier to manage this life without our love one beside us sharing every thing together I hate the emptiness as you must hope you get good night sleep so as you can get through the next day
Day by day is all we can try and cope with
Take care x
Hi misprint. When I was sorting out my late partners things I found a new birthday card that was obviously meant for me in a drawer under a lot of stuff. She passed away in Oct. and my birthday is in Feb. It was just the sort of card with lovely words that she would have got for me. I got upset but then realised that I was assuming she’d bought it for my coming birthday but if you’d known her as I did she could just have easily bought it a couple of years before stuck it in a drawer and forgotten all about it. Regardless of how upset it made me, I had to smile.
I wish I could take away the pain you are feeling right now
I broke down when my husband died I was off work for 5 months
I went into my own wee bubble he was alive my life hadn’t changed one bit
Then reality hits you I have to go back to work I need money to pay my bills
The grief doesn’t leave you but I had to get on with living if that’s what you call it
I needed a structure in my life a reason to get out of bed
4 years on I am still grieving I think I always will
I know you have probably heard it loads of time that time is a healer !!
I don’t think that is true time is not a healer I think time helps your body cope with the horrendous loss
And gives you the strength to get on with your different life as best as you can
Sending my love
Having just read the posts Ivan honestly say the things said are what I’ve been feeling .I started going through paperwork of Carole’s to try and move on since she died 7 months ago and found I couldn’t and going through photo’s just brought me to tears.
I too need structure in my life as the days,weeks months just seem to disappear in a blink of an eye but the pain doesn’t seem to lessen.
Hope that everyone can find some relief from the grief that is enveloping all of us.
I have reams of medical letters to destroy but cannot bring myself to look at them at present. They remain filed lying where I left them weeks ago. It’s just too painful. Every time I look at a picture of June it ends up with me in tears.
We had no family so I get very few visitors. As you say the days weeks and months disappear with no let up in our pain.
Take care and keep safe and well. Tony
Just because there are other horrors happening in the world does not mean our loss is any less. We are all in pain and hearts broken. We will never forget our loved ones and will carry our grief with us. Our lives have been turned upside down. It’s going to take the rest of our lives to come to terms with our loss and get through each day in one piece x
How right you are in what you say