This might be a weird one. I have had two husbands and I loved them both dearly. The first died 20 years ago, the father of my children and I truly believed that I would never be happy again. I married my second husband several years later, he had also been widowed after a very happy marriage. We both knew that we were very lucky to find love again. I want to believe that there is something after death, but what? I think that if there is something it will not be like it is on earth, but I wonder. Is my first husband waiting for me like I desperately hoped for years. If he is, what about Jeremy, my second husband? Is he with his first wife? What happens when my turn comes? And why the hell am I torturing myself like this?
I had a reading with a Medium after my first husband died. She told me that he was my soulmate and would send someone to help me with our special needs daughter, and that the initial J was important. Then along came Jeremy. Neither of us was looking for love, just friendship, we met through mutual friends.
This is stupid, but it really bothers me. Sorry to offload about something so weird.
Xx
Hi @Willow112
Talk about great minds think alike.
@jody mentioned it earlier and I responded to her post and in the meantime you’ve started this new thread.
I like to think that when we get where we’re going we all exist happily together.
And I also agree, why are we toturing ourselves over something we can’t do anything about 
Sending love and hugs x x
Your first husband will be thanking Jeremy for looking after his love and daughter when he couldn’t. Whoever was your soulmate will be waiting for you, deep in your heart you will know who that is. Our soulmates will often send someone to love us in their absence. Xx
You know what , I had been wondering ever since I saw you post about having loved &lost then found love again & tragically lost again , don’t like to ask , if you believe in being together again then who would be waiting for you ? Or would it be your choice ? I don’t want to meet anyone else , but am aware I’m only 52 and things may change in the years ahead , what would my wife think ? Would she then say oh I’m not waiting for him now ? This really is some mad sh1t we are going through and really messes with my head .
You posted this while I was writing my reply , hopefully this is the case 
Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot. If I was floating around watching my Andrew all alone without me, I’d send him someone to look after him, love him and help him have a new life (she would be great but not as great as me 
)
It’s not like they “watch us” it’s more like they check in from time to time. They will be completely at piece and want nothing but happiness for us, there will be no judgment or jealousy etc etc.
Your only 52, so have a lot of years left. Your not destined for a life of loneliness and misery. What ever happens in the future will not take away any of the feelings and love that you have for your wife. Xx
Yes, it certainly is mad. Having to choose would be like choosing which child you would save if you could only save one. I suppose anyone who has only had one love would say that Jeremy is with his first wife and that I will reunite with my first husband. I was 48 when first widowed, 68 now. Both my husbands had sudden cardiac arrests.
And no, I don’t mind you asking. We are all in this bloody awful place together.
For the first couple of years of my second marriage I still felt that probably Richard was my soulmate. But then my love deepened and equalled, never excelling, but just as valid. Since Jeremy died I have realised that I am every bit as devastated as the last time. In the days between turning off the life support and him actually dying I remember thinking that I had done this before and would be able to do it again. I have been shocked that it is every bit as painful. It is probably worse in some ways. Maybe because I am 20 years older and my daughter has become more disabled, but I feel that the hurt is cumulative and all the old pain has come back along with the new pain. Told you it is mad. Xx
Well you have all my sympathies, going though this once is bad enough but to have to do it again