It’s 3 years since I lost my husband, my soul mate, my best friend, my one. I’ve been through the firsts, the seconds, thirds & even the fourth Christmas without him & the pain is still there although I’m able to hide it better, that’s what gets easier, the carrying of it not the pain itself. Today is our Grandson’s christening, he never got to meet him & that pain cuts through the surface. A happy occasion without your special one to share it with, you find yourself torn in two. Happy because you are for the occasion but sad in your heart because for you the most important person is missing. These events are exhausting & I know tomorrow I’ll need to shut myself away but for today I’ll carry the love & happiness of Grandma & Grandad, double the love 
My lovely husband died suddenly in September 2021, and since then I’ve got through various family milestones - our daughter got married last year. one of our sons got engaged and his partner had our first grandchild, a boy, five weeks ago. It’s hard to carry on smiling and be happy for others when inside you’re crumbling. Alan would have been so proud at these family events and I can’t help but feel the pain for him and others that he’s not around to see and be a part of it. I feel for you today as I’ve felt the same but you’ll pin on that smile, enjoy the comfort of your family and celebrate the occasion. Thinking of you x
Hi its been 3 months since i lost my husband and christmas was so hard and the new year it was also his birthday on the 8th of Jan i am just not coping at all he also has a Grandchild he has never meet he knew about the Grandchild and was planing on going to see them but he had cancer and become to unwell to go and plus none of us drove and his son lived to far away and by train it would of took us about 3 hours to get there
Hi
Sorry for your loss. It’s still very early days for you and it does get a little easier as the rawness wears off and you come to terms with your new way of life. For me it hits me most in the mornings when I wake up alone to silence or come home to a quiet house. I have a lovely family that live nearby and I drive but getting accustomed to the changes takes time. At 62 I’ve just started a new job. It’s my third since my husband died at my place of work. I’d been there 26 years. Trying to find my feet but not been easy starting again and finding a suitable job with my health issues. Added stress. x
I know what you mean i find the night time and mornings hard i cared for my husband used to help him get washed and dressed in the morning and know i feel so lost i was with him 24 hours a day as he was really finding doing things for himself so hard i would give anything to have it back even though we did not do much as he found it hard to get out of bed most days we would just sit and talk or watch tv together