any advice on when to sort/dispose of late husband’s clothes? Two and a half months in and done nothing yet! Just cant face it but know it has to be done!!! How long should I leave it? Also better in chunks or all at once? Grieving journey heart rending isnt it?? xx
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Hi , it’s over two years since my husband died, almost all of his clothes are still in wardrobe , my daughter took some to get memory bears made . The only things I have moved , is his work coats , they were on a coat hook at back door , but it fell down . I just can’t face moving any of his things . I wear his socks everyday, and I sobbed when a pair got holes in them , I was even thinking of darning them , I know my husband would think I was crazy , but I guess this grief does make us crazy . I think you will know when it feels right to you to move them . Theres no hurry , we have to do everything we can to make this life without them as ( easy ) sorry I know nothing is easy now . Yes this grieving journey is heart-rending. I really don’t even think it’s a journey , a journey ends . I think the grief will always live along side us , as well as the love we still have for our partners . Xtake carex
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thanks for this Broken!! Noone really understands unless they been there do they? That’s why this site so comforting and helpful! am going to leave clothes ftm - sorting out garage instead! All of it awful and trying to “adapt” going to take long long time!! sending love xx
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It has been 4 months for me and I have just started taking some of my husbands clothes to a charity shop . It was so hard , so I went through some of them every week , and just said it will help the cats . I could only do a few items a week , and nothing special or with memories attached . My husband always wanted to help animals and cats in particular , it helped me to sort some things . I do not think there is ever a right time to do this , just when you feel able to .
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Only when you’re ready. I’m nearly four months along this journey, and all his clothes are still where they were the day he died. I find it comforting to see them there, and I wear his sweaters round the house. I think maybe we will just know when it’s time, whether it’s after four months, four years or even longer.
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Thankyou Daisyfrank! Yes I will try a bit at a time! have already found TShirts I can wear! Thought I would do shoes first! That will probably be enough for a while!! x
Thankyou Catrin - still got anorak hanging up in hall and still not changed sheet on his bed from when he taken into hospital! Just cant do it!!!
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There are also stores who will make you a “keepsake animal” out of a few bits of clothing if you want to just hold onto something. Heres just one example on Facebook - im sure there are lots more out there Memories are Made | Kidsgrove
Just do it a bit at a time when you feel ready and keep whatever brings back nice memories x
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Thanks for advice everyone! This morning I have started on shoes!! so sad doing this - 2 1/2 months in! Such an awful journey! cx
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Hi. It was a long time before I could even sort through my husbands clothes, you have to do what is right for you. I removed items from the coat stand after my daughter asked me if I wanted to do it, and after she left I cried and put them all back again. Some advice I was given was, move them to another place in the house and see how you feel and if it seems ok leave them there for a while. When you get to the point of it feeling ok to put them in bags do that but don’t let them leave the house yet, and see how that feels. Next stage to give them away when ready, because once they are gone you can’t get them back. Do what’s right for you. Take care.
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Thanks Lyn good advice! x
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No, I haven’t changed his sheet, either. Sounds stupid writing it down, but when I feel really bad, I go up and smell his scent still on the sheet and pillow.
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Catrin - yes so understand that! another daft thing is that the inprint of his toes can be felt inside a pair of shoes!!! cant give those away!!!
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I lost my wife 4 months ago. I haven’t moved her clothes or make up since and have no intention to. Like some people have said, I may get a memory bear made from one of her cardigans but, other than that, everything is staying put. That may seem odd to some but it would be like throwing part of her away.
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Just over 6 months and everything of hers is still where it was. I don’t open her wardrobe or smell her clothes or anything like that, although I do like to occasionally spray her favourite perfume on her pillow. I just don’t feel that I want to change anything just yet - too big a milestone. The only things I got rid of immediately were her medication and her mobility aids - basically anything that reminded us of her illness. When the time comes to move things on, my daughter will have first refusal on any clothes, after that it will go to a breast cancer charity shop.
There is no right or wrong time, only what feels right for you.
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so agree with the “like throwing away” post - it is such a hard, hard journey! Actually we cant believe this has happened even now and it not getting any easier as time goes on! People say it will - yesterday I had lunch with three widows who lost their husbands 30, 19 and 15 years ago!! Of course they have a different perspective now, but from where I am atm I dont think I will ever get over it!! Tony seems “to have vanished” into thin air somehow - soooo hard to accept! sending hugs x
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I was chatting with my daughter about this very subject yesterday, and the little things that trigger a memory. I mentioned that one of the things that catches me out is when I see someone dressed in a similar style to my wife. For instance, in summer a lot of women wear a flowery dress with a denim jacket. I think it looks great and my wife wore that kind of thing regularly( 
), especially on holiday . When I see someone wearing that “look” now it really catches me out.
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Hi I am 5 months without my soul mate and my best friend, I haven’t moved anything , I just can’t even his tooth brush is still in the bathroom, his shower gel in the shower and shaving foam on the sink.
I just can’t I think it is final and that scares me.
I haven’t changed the pillow cases because I can still smell his scent on them and I need that.
I had a memory cushion made and sleep with that each night .
You will know when you’re ready.
My friend has not emptied her partners wardrobe 5 years on
Take Care xx
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Hi all , so sorry for everyone’s loss , I also haven’t moved anything. Lost my Christine on the 31 October 2023 , her shoes are still at the front door we’re she left them . I really don’t know when I will move them , but at this point in my life , I like everything the same as it was , so far I have had some good days and terrible nights, but I still feel I most keep moveing forward , take care everyone and look after your selves 
x
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