How can my husband be dead, when he was always so full of life!
What is death anyway?

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Hi Spud, it’s very difficult to take it in when your once full of life partner is no longer around, it takes a long time to come to terms with it, I felt the same way, I kept very busy so I didn’t think about it as much, sending love Jude xx

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Hi Spud,

We all know it is the order of life and as we are buzzing around getting on with our life’s we almost except it. We all die eventually……. Until it happens to us.

I have no idea how my husband would have coped if I had gone first but I know I am very selfish in the fact that I wish, so desperately wish I had died first.
No I wouldn’t want my husband to know or feel this pain but I have no desire to cope with this situation but here I am.
Trying my best and hating every minute of it.
Tomorrow is my husbands birthday, I have since learnt his son is going to be dad for the first time, Martin so desperately wanted to be a grandad. He was always worrying he would be to old to enjoy them and now he’s not here :pleading_face: xx