My partner Theresa passed away in March of this year. As you all know how hard it is losing a loved one,
After the first 3/4 months I was begining to accept, “not coming to terms with her being gone”, but realising that I’ve lost her and was trying to deal with it as best I could, these last few days it feel,s as if I’m sliding backwards, crying for the least wee thing.
Has anyone else had these emotional setbacks for whatever reason.
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Hi Alex, im going through it right now, I was ok and now I just want to cry, I just miss everything, I miss him looking after me, asking me if I want something, going out to get a coffee or just sitting here together watching TV, just having a conversation, i just miss my best friend, I can’t have this kind of relationship with anyone else 
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Hi Lightmary. I’m sitting with the TV on just now, not really watching it, just background noise, if Theresa was here with me we would be watching a netflix movie or if nothing we fancied it would be family guy till we felt tired. . It’s when you take stock of how much your world has turned upside down, that’s when it hits home.
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Hi, its the simple things we miss most, that’s what im doing just watching Netflix, ..its pretty late for you I guess you can’t sleep, like Helen says, try not to think, and thats what I do, I just try to keep busy, but it catches up to you, .i hope you sleep well and feel better soon. God bless you 
Dear Alex, it happens to me too. I went to Water company and bill was too high and I had to solve it just by myself or I was paying at grocery store and I saw something that my most beloved husband used to buy me and he will not anymore or just sitting at church and have to look at 90 y.o. couples in front of me holding hands and kissing… it’s sadistic having all of that on my shoulders all alone and not getting the help I need…
Janka
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My husband passed away in March. He had been ill on and off for sometime, but always managed to come through. We called him affectionately Teflon man. Sadly having just got the all clear of uvula cancer, he had a pneumonia induced heart attack. He’d had a cough for ages but despite nagging refused to consult the Doctor. He’d was fed up with hospitals. I am so angry with him and so guilty for nagging him. We were a couple for coming up to 51 years. I just don’t know how to be a single person anymore, I can’t talk to my friends anymore for fear of boring them. I try to keep the tears at bay and keep busy, but the anger and guilt consumes me. Every night I cry myself to sleep and wake up exhausted and fit for nothing. I simply don’t want to be here anymore.
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Hi TessieH ,so sorry for your loss. Don’t feel guilty over your"nagging" as you were only trying to do your best to get your husband treatment. I can understand your anger at him not wanting to go into hospital. 51 years together will be very hard to cope with as a big part of your life has gone, I’m sure your friends won’t think you are boring them, Not wanting to be here is a term I’ve seen and heard from some people, I have a friend who feels that way sometimes. I’m sure your husband would want you to carry on. Do you have any family to talk to, keep coming on this site as their will always be someone who has went through what you are going through and will help in talking with you. Take care
Well, nobody likes hearing about our suffering anymore, only my best friends living 10 000 km from here, so if the situation will be absolutely unbearable and I won’t be able to manage that all just by myself any longer, I’ll come back home. There is no family who would care about me, but my best friends still do care more than them. I can feel your pain and loneliness. I am also all alone and must figure out what I’ll do in the next future. It’s all devastating and people expect us to get over it and be fine. I’ll never get over such a trauma, the worst in my life, I only can adapt to this somehow to survive and make my love proud of me. I woke up and anxiety is torturing me as well as every morning, so I have to get up to avoid tears again. I try my best, but it’s very difficult and I always end up crying. My neighbors don’t care anymore. They are so evil that I had to call 911 yesterday because of a terrible noise they make, even at midnight, so at least they stopped doing it outside over my fence. My husband’s adopted children go after my house to get rid of me completely and I’ll see how it’ll be in September, if I stay or go. I’m just hoping every morning when I open my eyes from bad dreams that this nightmare will be over soon. This place is a blessing. I’m just sitting on my bed and writing this that helps me reduce my anxiety knowing that there is always someone on here who gets it, understands and supports me when I don’t get help anywhere else. Hugs from Janka
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Thank you Alex for your kind response. I was in the throes of a severe ‘grief’ wave and just didn’t know where to turn. Having this caring community to ‘talk’ too really helps immensely. Fortunately I have two amazing sons, but I don’t want to burden them they are also grieving. Having just read Janka’s post I realise that when all is said and done, at least I have them. My heart goes out to you Janka and I wish I could do more to help. Please read the wonderful advice from those that have posted on here. As one person said, we have joined a group that no one wanted to join, it each and everyone will be there for you.
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@Alex9 Absolutely. It’s so hard. You’re not alone!
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I’m coming into this discussion a bit late but feeling low at the moment and understand how you feel. It’s almost 9 months since my husband died. The past few weeks I’ve been crying more than ever. I think it’s the reality of living the rest of my life without him sinking in. I’ve gone back to reliving his last days which is really not helping me but I can’t seem to stop it. The first few months there is so much to do. Then there are the “firsts” to deal with; birthdays, special days etc but now it’s just those feelings of what on earth does the future hold for me now? The old saying of having “your other half” is true. I so miss his half of our lives. Nothing is ever going to be the same. I know my friends think I’m “doing well” but as you all know, you can be around people, have a nice time for a while, laugh, smile but when the door is shut and you’re alone of an evening, it’s a very different story. Guess it’s what we have to get through but at the moment it’s very hard x
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Hello Joanny, so sorry for the loss of your husband, I lost my husband in March. Much of what you describe is how I feel most of the time, to live the rest of my life without my best friend, my soul mate..and its sad but so true that people just don’t get it, but it’s probably for the best, i wouldn’t want anyone with this pain, a pain that will never go away..and having to appear like im ok, .ill never be ok again, not without my precious husband by my side…take care, of yourself, keep in touch
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Hi Joanny you are so right. The thought of the future is frightening. Just thinking of what will come is terrible. Life now is just surviving the day with blinkers on trying not to to look at anything else.
Wishing you all the best Tom
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Hi Joanny! I know what you mean. It has been 17 months for me and I’ve cried more than before lately. What we show outside is a must to survive and do not look like weirdos for those who don’t understand. They have no clue and we try to be strong. Inside it’s a different story, only my friends know what I’m going through by days and at nights. I came home after I fell from my scooter in the rain again, because the pavements here are completely broken. Who would care, when everybody has a car and there are many of them in front of every house in my neighborhood, except me? Now I’m looking forward to my days off, because I’m tired and achy after all hard work. I’d like to offer you a hug, but I’m too far. Janka
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Thank you all so much for your replies 
It’s so comforting to hear that I’m not alone in how I’m feeling xxx
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Were all here for each other Joanny. .
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Hi and sorry for your loss, the emotional setbacks are a very normal part of grieving. I’m ten and a half months in now after my partner’s sudden death. I cry every day and sometimes find it difficult to talk about him without crying. I felt a little better a few months back in that I was more accepting of my situation.
Some of the support I had in the beginning has dwindled and the harsh reality of life without my lovely man is sinking in. Hopefully I won’t have to navigate another 10/20 years like this. Take care.
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Thanks Norma It’s definitely harder now than it was a few months ago. Friends and family move on with their lives and thankfully for them, they can’t understand how we feel. I have had some lovely days out and genuinely enjoyed some outings and activities but also can feel incredibly low when left on my own too. It’s certainly a new way of living and one I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Xxx
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Yes, I too find it hard to see the rest of the family move on, at least do things. I am unable to feel any joy or do anything really.
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So sorry to hear that. Thinking of you and hoping you’ll begin to find small Joys in the near future xx
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