In July 19th it will be the 5th Anniversary since seeing my beloved mum die in front of me. I suffer from Epilepsy and she was alwas there for me, i lived with her.
Now i will be moving and i thought i would be alright but sorting stuff and donating items is really upseting me and four weeks ago i was rushed to hospital because a neighbour came to see me and found me unconscious and had to call the ambulance and i had to stay in hospital for two days, has anyone got any advice for me i know it sounds silly but i am remembering my mum planting rose trees is that silly some of my neighbours are happy for me i just hide from them.
Nothing is silly, I have a lot of thoughts of my mum, I think that’s normal. I still live in the flat I shared with mum since 82. I barely touched it to be honest with you. Every day feels like another day in the flat. I have a sister but she’s 75 and not in brilliant health either.
My mum would have been 80 on May 13. Mainly some of my family are no longer here. I think finding all the photos when she was young with her parents and younger brother is hard but i am taking my time. Thank you reading my message, all the best Janice
I am 80 and it is different being my age to had my husband died 20 years ago.
I do not feel how I would have then.
He only died 2 and half years ago.
I see old widowers and think I would like to be friends but before you can say Jack Robinson they’ve died too. There was a nice old widower today at the monthly senior lunch I went to but he said he had a scare the other night himself.
Thought his heart trouble had returned then he woke up and it was gone.
I get these scares. Don’t know how to cope.
It feels very scarey. I drag myself around.
Too much to cope with.
I can’t make decisions easily. Don’t know how people make rash decisions I cant.
I get so tired. I had covid booster yesterday that worsens it.
Then I am expected to carry on being a carer. I have asked for help. Then get made to feel nuisance.
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It’s not easy carrying on after loss. I posted a new post something I not done for a while. I generally interested how people are doing ? and how they coping to life on their own and if they have plans to shape their life and ideas of moving on. I do feel we can help each other, it feels like the decent thing to do.
I’m so sorry for your loss @Janice22 and nothing you’ve said sounds silly at all. You’ve been through such a traumatic time and sorting out your house move is bound to bring back memories. Do you have any friends or family who could pop over and be with you as you sort through the house? It might take your mind off the task having someone to chat to as you go. You mention rose trees…if they’re still there, are you able to take some with you? When my Dad passed away, as a family we decided my husband and I would sell our house and my Mum sell her house and we’d all live together, something we now do. In my Mum’s garden was a rose bush we’d brought from her childhood home when her parents died. It was replanted in my Mum and Dad’s garden and was just as beautiful. Although we’ve not done it yet (apparently its the wrong time to replant rose bushes), the new owners of her house are fine for us to take the bush whenever we want to. Could you do the same? Take something so dear to your Mum with you.
Continue to take each day at a time and do a little clearing when you feel up to it. You donating items is such a precious and kind thing to do - your Mum would be so proud of you. When clearing my house and my Mum’s, ahead of our moves, it was difficult at times but good to know anything donated would raise money for charity. My Dad would have loved that.
I wish you easier days ahead
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Thank you for the message Mainly all my family have passed away so i am doing it all by self i suffer from epilepsy so i have to be careful as i have come out of Hospital it is so hard and painful.
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@Janice22 - I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I hope you can find help from friends or a local support group. Sending you all best wishes
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