Step dad moving on

Hi all this is my first time using this……I lost my mum suddenly on 28/12/2022 so we are approaching 1 year anniversary. And our first Christmas without her.
My stepdad and Mum were together for 40 years and he was broken when she passed. He is 73 years old. Mum was just 61.
My stepdad has joked often about finding someone else, missing female company. He is from south london and I know he struggles to talk about feelings.
Recently he has met a ‘friend’ but it’s clear it’s becoming more. I explained to him that I do understand he is lonely and I wouldn’t want him to live the rest the of his life being sad and lonely but I just can’t get my head around him being with someone else so soon, and I feel as it if makes a mockery of his 40 years with my Mum. As if it meant nothing.
He has called me today and is popping round as he said things are getting serious and he wants to update me. He has told my sister he is going shopping to buy this woman a Xmas present when for years he never did that for my Mum.
I feel so torn. I know he is broken from losing my Mum and probably needs companionship but I just can’t accept this new person.
My husband said he thinks he wants my approval but I don’t feel able to do this. I feel so torn between knowing she is maybe what he needs but not being able to handle it myself.

Has anyone else been in this situation?

I have been in exactly this position. My stepdad and mum were married from when I was 6 and my mum died aged 62 (when I was 42.) I am an only child. She had a stroke and was totally disabled for 2 years, but he took care of her 24 hours a day and was wonderful to her. He also doesn’t ‘do’ overt showings of affection, so I was surprised when about 18 months later he told me he had met someone. They live near each other and had met on the bus. She was also widowed. I didn’t once think anything other than happiness for him. Read this forum. People are so lonely when they lose their partners. Maybe nothing will come of the relationship, but at the moment, they are company for each other and she is bringing a bit of light into his life. Nothing will change the life your stepdad had with your mum. Nobody can take away the memories. I think you need to put your feelings aside and put a happy face on it. He is suffering enough from losing his wife of 40 years. Let him have this bit of joy - you are living your own life and are not with him 24 hours a day. You weren’t there when he cried alone in the night. This new lady will be. Let him have this. I totally understand you still think of him as your mum’s partner, but he has his life to live. My dad’s friend’s daughter reacted in the same way as you for a couple of years and it upset her mum so much. She just wanted to be happy as well. Now they are fine and her daughter is so grateful her mum has someone in her life taking care of her. My Dad is so good at looking after people! It gives him a purpose and I would have hated myself if I had made him feel bad. This is his life and his chance a bit of happiness. Don’t let him know how you feel, give him your blessing and moan to your husband!! It is just the same as when one of your children has a partner you don’t like - you have to keep your opinions to yourself! Please don’t spoil this for him, nothing can change what went before and we can’t choose when we meet people we have a connection with. I know it hasn’t been long, but just be happy for him (on the outside) and be ready to be there if it doesn’t work out.