This is a hard one but i need the support with this and want to share incase anyone else feels or had similar situation.
I lost my amazing dad in april and miss him terribly he was my best friend.
My parents divorced as a child and i lived with my dad most of my life . We was very close.
Sadly my relathionship with his wife was never great i always felt intimadated and threatened but respected my dad loved her.
Since his passing she has not wanted to communicate with any of his family . Has not let us into his home to collect some precious items of his. Has not contacted my fathers grandchildren or asked how anybody is. She has not made any decisions with us to do with dads home or his items we feel very isolated and hurt.
I agree we should not communicate.
This whole situation has been heartbreaking and making our grief incredibly complex.
I know and appreciate we all grieve different but this is heartbreaking .
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
It’s really hard when you are hurting so much to understand anybody else’s pain. I think we all cope differently and we can be insensitive to other people’s feelings.
Maybe telling your stepmother how you are feeling may allow her to feel she can open up to you how much she is hurting .
I am a stepmother to three , all in their 60s . I was married to their Father for 25 years and I am completely heartbroken since he died last year. They are constantly asking me as Executor to his Will when they will get their share of his Estate. They are all comfortably off so I just cannot understand their greed. I have asked them but they never give me a straight answer and are always contacting our Solicitor to ask her as well.
Their Father was a very generous man and certainly would be horrified that I am having to cope with this along with the awful grief I am feeling. Does anyone have any advice ?
Hello , so sorry that your lost your dad.
I lost my dad some years ago now.
Last month my father inlaw passsed away, and his wife , my husbands stepmum is being really unfair regarding the funeral arrangements.
I realise that yes she has lost a husband, altogether she treated him terribly, but my husband has lost his dad, and i have lost a father in law.
All the family is writing a piece of the eulogy, memories, then its all going together, she has already said there are some parts of my husbands that she doesn’t like, so i know she will change it.
My husband mentioned where he would like the wake, then she booked a completely different venue, and didn’t even think to speak with his son.
I have always gone round to see how she is, but now am finding it really difficult to be around her.
I am trying really hard to remember the happy memories of spending time with his dad, miss him so much, but am struggling as she is just making it all so stressful.
So sorry to hear of the difficulties you are having over funeral arrangements.
As a stepmum who lost my dear husband last year after 25 years of marriage I felt that my stepchildren went ahead with the funeral arrangements without even consulting me. I knew exactly what my husband wanted and we went to great lengths to ensure they were all very well provided for in my husband’s will.
I suppose emotions are running high so I decided to act with good grace as my husband knew I would.
Take care and I hope that you can find a way towards mutual agreement .