Dear @MyRob, I am sorry you are having bad days. You’re right people say things without thinking and we constantly put on that brave face when inside we hurt badly. I’ve had people say “ you’re doing great Jen” I just say thank you, one day you will understand how difficult this acting role is. That tends to stop them in their tracks. I have learned to be brave because nobody does it for me this is a lonely process for us but love prevails and thinking of Mike in my heart keeps me putting one foot in front of the other each day no matter what because I know he will be proud.
Sending you a hug & wish you well on your grief journey
Jen x
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Dear Stepping stones, now you have made me cry. brought so many memories back for me. Lost my lovely husband just over 3 years ago to Bladder cancer. such a horrid disease , I feel the same every day i think one day closer etc. sending my love to you. xxx @Jen64 AND all xxx
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Dear @Lenny2848 thank you for posting your beautiful journey, what a fabulous way to share your life whilst remembering Sue it shows just how amazing you were together and how that love will live on forever.
I hope you have many more happy times on your travels as her memory is with you
Jen
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Dear @Gillymary, I am sorry I made you cry but we need those tears to help us heal. Cancer is indeed cruel and leaves it’s toll on us left behind. I hope your happiest memories help you through you hardest days & thank you for your kind words
Jen xx
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Jen64 apart from the treatment (my beloved husband, Pete, was diagnosed too late to have treatment as he’d had no symptoms) your story echoes mine. I have to carry on doing the things we had planned together. Every night I go to bed and say to him “another day nearer to you my darling…”
Lesley XxX
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Dear @GrannySmith16 my thoughts are with you as we walk this dreadful journey with many mountains to climb. One day we will be rewarded when we reach our journeys end and step into the loving arms of the husband we have missed so much.
You are not walking alone
Jen xx
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Dear Lenny, I loved how you are coping with your loss, and I still have my partners ashes and I thought that was a wonderful idea to scatter some in the places we shared, it is 11 months now after being together 30 years, how lucky I was to have that amount of time, after reading other people who aren’t so lucky. I wish there was a cure to take this awful pain away, nothing in this world prepares you for the grief you have to endure
This site does help but I wonder when will the sunshine come back into my life. Kind thoughts go to you take care.
Lovelylady
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Hello Jen, am so sorry for your loss and for everything your husband went through.
I lost my mum last year and still miss her so very much. Its still really hard without her, but like you I also believe that when my time is done I too will be reunited with my mum and my dad and that gives me the strength to carry on. I believe they are still with me, watching me, and that also gives me strength.
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I found I could connect with your post Jen. Like you I lost my husband to cancer, that was March 2018. Like you I realised I had to fulfill our retirement dreams and have packed a lot in, although Covid restricted me travel wise for 2 years. I have done work on our garden, I’ve ensured our house remains a testimony to our love and when I’m reunited with Jimmy, I know he will be proud of me. He always said I’d be ok, but he had no idea just how much he would be missed. A physical part of me gone but will be part of me again in time 
Next year will be our 50th Anniversary, I will visit Barcelona with our daughter, a memory trip.
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@Stargazer thank you for replying to my post and I am so pleased that you are finding your way through your loss. We will always feel that empty space physically but at the same time know that our husbands will be very proud of every step we make to fulfil the dreams that were made. Of course there will be some sad or lonely days on the journey but knowing that one day they will be waiting arms wide makes things a little easier
Jen
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@Jasmine195 I am sorry for this late reply but thank you for your post. I’m sure your mum and dad are taking care of you from above and very proud of you, one day they will be able to tell you all about it
Jen
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We were told on 3rd November last year that there was only palliative care left but to enjoy the six/nine months that were left. After the initial shock we felt we could cope and glad not to have to keep visiting hospital. Within days Robin was in hospital as had started fitting and we were told the cancer had gone to his brain.
He died at home on Boxing Day. Feel cheated as it all went downhill so quickly. Still feel angry that we got no help from our surgery or the local hospice - not sure where the palliative care bit came in.
Felt completely alone and abandoned. Feel so sad for you and all the others in our position. We just have to carry on with life. Know Robin wouldn’t have wanted me to be sad for the rest of my days but not always easy. Best wishes to you.
Davina
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Jen, your words are exactly as I feel, it was a year on the 19th October since I lost my partner of 12 yrs. Like you I prayed for every miracle going, that he would somehow survive the treatment, the nasty disease etc, but instead I watched him ebb away. He was my soulmate, my life.Time hasn’t got easier yet but you learn to cope.Even though I have family, it’s lonely without him but you have to go on so that’s what I’m trying to do. I hope it gets easier for you too xx
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Hi @Ladyjan I am sorry that you lost your dear partner, it’s truly something that once witnessed you never forget. I initially thought that I was the only one to go through this anguish but I have learned there are so many of us going through the same thing and we are here for each other.
I wish you well as you continue your journey
Jen xx
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Dear Davina, I am so sorry that you lost Robin in such tragic circumstances and I can understand your anger. I too felt let down by so many and it is truly heartbreaking.
Please continue to look after you as you continue your life without the love that you lost
Jen x
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Thank you Jen for replying. It’s a comfort to speak to others who are going through the same thing. All best wishes to you. With love
Davina x
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Haven’t had any interaction on this site. Although I’m not bereaved it is only a matter of time. I’m not sure how this site works
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Hi Nigelg1, welcome to the community. I’m sorry that you are facing a bereavement, please know that this site is full of supportive members who have all lost someone, and i hope you will gain some comfort from sharing here.
To use the site, we have a list of help topics at: community.sueryder.org/pub/help-using-this-site
Please do message the site admins if you need any support with this.
Take good care, Rhi
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Thanks for your help. I will do that
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@Jen64 thank you for your reply, definitely once witnessed never forgotten and I won’t ever forget him x
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