29 weeks ago my husband of nearly forty years, Ian, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly.
Even after all this time, I still can’t believe what has happened. I message him twice a day and feel he is just out of my reach. I keep hoping it’s just a nightmare that I will be able to wake up from.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without him.
Julie
I am sorry for your loss. I too have sent messages to my husband. It makes me feel closer to him. I lost him ten months ago and it still feels like yesterday. Within seconds our whole lives have changed and my mind is only just trying to catch up. It does not seem real. I will love and miss my husband forever x
Hi Nel
Thank you for replying to my post. It is all just so hard isn’t it. You are so right when you say it seems like yesterday and all so unreal.
Take care of yourself
Julie x
My husband died in sept after a long battle with cancer. I knew I was going to lose him and thought I was prepared for it but it’s still so hard. I don’t think you can ever prepare for losing your partner, best friend and soul mate. I can’t imagine what it’s like for you losing him so suddenly.
Take care of yourself xx
Trixie I know how you feel jim died in August and I still can’t believe I will never see him again or hear his voice and hold his hand. Life can be so cruel . We had so many plans and things to look forward too now all I have is loneliness and a life of misery. I don’t won’t to spend the next 20 years feeling like this I want to be with Jim the sooner the better but I’m got my mum to think of I have to look after her she’s in her 80s. I live on my own and coming home to a dark cold house is the pits. Hope you find a way of coping with it all xx
Hello ladies
My love, Sunny died suddenly in June 2021 aged only 57. Some days I feel well aware that he’s gone but other days I sit and stare at his photo and say out loud “babe I just cannot believe that you’re dead. How can it be??” It’s so bizarre and unreal. I text him most days and like you Julie, it feels that he’s just round the corner, just out of sight and out of reach. I live alone and am still working so that fills up some time, but God it’s horrific getting into this big empty bed and waking up alone every day. No plans for the future to chat about, no putting the world to rights together, nothing except a big gaping hole in my heart- you know that physical ache?
So sorry that we have a need to be on this site but so glad that you and others understand. Thankyou x
Hi just found this website. I understand how you all feel. My partner of 17 years was killed in an accident on the 9 Dec 21. He was 45. I’m absolutely devastated. We did everything together and now I feel completely lost and still can’t believe he has gone. I feel like I’ve lost my life and feeling anxious about facing the future without him. We too had so many plans and loved the life we had built together. I’m so very sad. Life can indeed be so cruel.
Poppy so sad and so young you should have had many more years together . Life is cruel as you say. I was married to jim for 23 years but he should still be here but the NHS let him and me down. Keep posting on here and reading everyone’s stories it does help to know you are not on your own
So sorry for your loss Poppy, and everything so recent for you and so raw. We all understand anything you might say. Take one hour one day one week at a time. Its just horrendous having your life together and his ripped from you with no warning - nothingbprepares us for the devastation. This site has helped greatly me in the last 7 months- having empathy from people who totally “get it” really does help.
My love to you
Sophie x
Thank you yes it is good to share with people who understand x
Hello Poppy
I’m so sorry that your world has been shattered but pleased that you have found this site. It is such early days for you so just take each moment as it comes.
The shock of losing your partner so suddenly is overwhelming. I was actually in the process of bringing Ian home from a short stay in hospital when a paramedic took me aside and told me that Ian would probably not make it home. So I asked for him to be put back in his hospital bed and he passed away 45 minutes later. I went into complete shock and numbness for months after and probably still am to some extent , even after nearly 30 weeks.
However, being on these sites has shown me that everyone grieves in their own way and time. I started counselling about four months after Ian passed away as I realised I was still expecting him to come home
For you now, just concentrate on getting through each moment in whatever way works best for you. The future can wait.
Take care of yourself,
X Julie
I also sent txt and email messages to my sister who died in November 2021. The worst thing is when I recieve an email from a person with the same name I am left frozen wondering for a second, is it really her, then I come back to reality again, and my gut wrenches like a tight fist and I feel such disappointment 
Hiya barbara lost my husband to cancer 13month ago even though I knew what was coming it was shock he was a thought healthy 10month before he was diagnosed then bam your life is shattered take care lv annie x x
Don’t think you can ever prepare yourself for the awful thing of losing your partner. Mark was so unlucky with cancer. He had prostrate cancer sept 17 which was successfully treated only to be diagnosed with bowel cancer end of 2018. Had complications after bowel op and then found out in oct 2018 it had spread to his liver then April 2020 his lung. He was so brave throughout and fought so hard to get to see our daughter get married in sept which had been postponed 3 times because of covid. Although it was such a struggle for him he was in a wheelchair and needed oxygen he did make it. He sadly died 4 days later 
Hello everyone
It’s a while since I’ve posted as I’ve been staying with my son and family in Spain and have only just returned. It was so easy out there to think that Ian was waiting at home for me. I knew he wasn’t but life is just so different out there.
I’ve been back a few days and the reality is hitting me again. My sister came back with me but needs to go back today. I had a complete melt down in COSTA yesterday as I still can’t accept that Ian, who seemed fit and healthy, could die within seven weeks of a cancer diagnosis. This was over 32 weeks ago but I still keep asking how can our world have been shattered in such a short time. ….
Take care everyone,
Julie x
Hello everyone, so sorry for your losses. I lost my husband nearly 8 weeks ago and can agree that this awful life changing loss leaves you numb, heartbroken, devastated, all with the deepest sadness that you could possibly ever feel. The yearning to be back together, is immense.
Sending hugs x
Hiya Barbara even though I new john didn’t have long it was a shock suppose I was hoping for a miracle take care lv annie x x
Hi all. I lost my husband ten months ago. Life is normal in the morning and the suddenly my husband was gone. I still look at his picture and think where are you. I wake up every morning and then the anxiety is there. I just can’t cope with it. Does anyone have any suggestions x
I haven’t really got any answers for you Nel. I’m feeling the same I just can’t believe he’s gone and I will never see him again how does anyone get over losing our soulmate I suppose you don’t but have to try and cope somehow but yet I haven’t found how to do that.
I’m 6 months into my journey and I have to say I’m finding it very hard to cope on my own. I miss Jim so much he’s on my mind all the time.
Nel
Wish I could say something to help you,the only thing is we on here feel the same torment to lose our loved ones is very painful,so hard to carry on without them
My husband is on my mind every minute,can’t sleep well I’m very anxious and like you and everyone else on here absolutely heartbroken
Take care
Christine x