Still can't believe what's happened.

I lost my mum two weeks ago after going to A&E being told she has cancer in her bowel and lung . Kidney failure and SEPSIS 8 days I had to watch her , fighting for her . Mum was the centre of my universe ! She was only 67 not her time not by today’s standards . I just feel so lonely and lost without her, watching my best friend die, the one person who understood me completely . The only nana who loves my son as if he where her own . My world is so different now . I just don’t know how I see my future without her by my side .X

My heart goes out to u. I no how difficult it is to watch someone u love die u go through so many emotions at once and seems unbearable but try and stay strong for ur little one. Debbie x

1 Like

Hi,
I had a very similar experience with my dad. Admitted to A&E in Sep 16 and found huge abdominal tumours. He never came home. 13 days later he passed away in intensive care. He was a young 69. A mountaineer and rock climber. Very fit. The shock is still very raw.

I then lost my mum 18 days later after a long battle with dementia.

I don’t have any magic solutions, but wanted you to know you’re not alone. I just keep plodding on but some days the physical pain and panicky feelings take over. Other days I feel better able to cope.

My kids were so close to dad, their pain is hard to see. They lost their hero grandad.

I do understand the shock. It’s unbearable at times.

Sending hugs

Cea

I lost my dad 12 years ago I was only 19 . And have ever since been very paranoid that something bad would happen to mum and she new that . She used to call me her little rotwhiler, felt extremely protective of her always.
And now I feel like I’m grieving dad all over again .
Its my first day back to work and feel sick to my stomach , it’s another step I’m having to take and adjust to . I will go through periods of the day where I’m ok (numb) and like you say it comes crashing over you! That same panic feeling I had over the whole time I would be sat beside her. And when I wasn’t.
I just can’t believe someone can be that poorly and not have any symptoms other than being anemic.
I know I have my husband and little boy , and they are my guiding light in all this . But there’s nothing in this world that can replace that bond I had with mum , her unconditional love and my God did she love her family !

Hello Seren_haf, welcome to our Online Community at this really difficult time in your life. It sounds as if you had a wonderful relationship with your dear mother, so it must have been such a shock for you when she became ill and died so quickly.
Although it’s many years since your Dad died, I want to reassure you that It’s quite normal your mother’s death has brought it all back to you again.
Please try and take things steadily, both at work and at home. You’re probably still just trying to accept all that has happened, while continuing with your everyday life. Don’t worry about getting upset in front of others - I’m sure they will understand how tough it is for you at the moment.
I hope that you will find comfort from your husband and little boy, and it will help you to hear from others on this site who are also grieving for a beloved mother. Kind regards, Jackie

1 Like

Hi Seren_haf

Another one who has lost both their parents. My mum last year and Dad over 20 years ago. Losing Mum has brought it all back and am coming up to the anniversary of Dad next month.

I hope your return to work went off alright. It is very hard that attempt to return to a form of normality. I do hope you are taking things gently and looking after yourself. All too easy to care for others and neglect yourself. I found little treats worked for me at first, nice bubble bath, visits to the cinema, that sort of thing.

Mel

I get the little Rottweiler completely. I became a Tiger Daughter when mum was ill and i wanted help for her!

Thanks Mel for you understanding message.
Work went ok , it’s hard keeping up appearances especially as I’m dealing with the general public.
I’m forcing myself to do nice things which does help take my mind of things. It’s then in the evening when I would normally ring mum , even if I’d seen her that day I’d still call her and chat about nothing in particular.
My little boy is nearly 4 and he keeps asking where nana is breaks my heart .

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so raw for you and you haven’t had any time. I lost my mum late last year, quite suddenly and I know it leaves you with a feeling of utter devastation.
Try and be kind to yourself, like your mum would be patient and kind to you. Grief is definitely a journey that you have to travel. Take each day one at a time.

Back to top