Hello I’ve just found this community online and need to connect with others who have lost a loved one.
I sadly lost my partner in June to sudden cardiac arrest. He wasn’t very well leading up to his death but it was so shocking to us all when he passed. He was far too young at 49. He had his demons and fought so hard to overcome them. His heart gave out and there was nothing I could do to save him.
I am crying daily and feel so lost without him. I’m 36 and have no one in my circle who really understands what I’m going through on a daily basis. I wear a mask and say I’m okay when really I’m not! I feel so numb! Everything reminds me of him and I’m already dreading Christmas. We had three wonderful years together but it was very turbulent towards the end which complicates my grief.
I’ve reached out for bereavement counselling and been taking anti-depressants for the past four months (which has numbed my emotions somewhat but I don’t feel ready to stop taking them yet).
Please tell me it gets any easier? I feel lost, abandoned and fearful of the future.
Thank you for listening.
Katie
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Hi Katie
Sorry for your loss and so young as well. I lost my darling husband 3 years ago so i can tell you it does get easier i think you learn to live with it and eventually come to teams with it all . It never leaves you ,you just adjust to a new way of life I’m afraid we have too . Take care and be kind to yourself. X
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Katie, everything you are feeling and doing is normal for grievers. We are all “okay” in that we are still breathing, but not in “okay, ready to move one now” mode. We tell everyone we are okay as we handle our grief in our own ways.
Numb is exactly how I feel and I have what may be a permanent sad face. I lost my smile.
Everything, everywhere reminds us of our partners. Life reminds us of our partners. Treading water. Fearful. Lost. Anti-depressants - don’t stop taking them, your brain is out of seratonin . I got you. Right there with you. It is horrible.
I don’t know if it gets easier, but some people say it has for them. It must, or else we die with them.
So sorry my dear young lady, you have been given a heavy burden at such an early age. It hurts me for you.
Much love.