Still don't believe it

It has been just over a month since my sister died. I still cannot believe it has happened. When will I be able to at least accept it has happened. I just don’t seem able to process or.

Hello ElaineBromley, I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my beloved younger sister 6 months ago. I remember the first few months, being in a fog, unable to even think or focus. Now the reality has set in but I continue to fight it, and deny that she is really gone. I keep thinking I should call or text her, and want so much to tell her about my day and hear about hers like we used to. We all move through this in our own time and our own way, but your loss is so fresh and you must still be in shock. I can only say to allow yourself the feelings, be patient with yourself, and make sure you only surround yourself with people that will support and acknowledge what you are going through. In addition, the people on this site have been my “go-to” these last months. I discovered this site one long sleepless lonely night, and I kept coming back ever since. I hope you will be able to share more about your sister when you are ready. I will be glad to listen, as will the other grievers who come here for the kindness and caring that is offered. Take care. Xx Sister2

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Hello both. I am so sorry for the loss of your sisters. The loss of a sibling is like a jigsaw with a piece missing. Of course you miss them, miss the chats etc. Why not tell your sister about your day in a journal. After my mum died I used to write in a book about my feelings and tell her stuff and I now write a journal to my husband. I tell him everything - it’s like talking to him and it comforts me. I’ve stuck photos in and poems and I tell him about my day, how I’m feeling and how much I love him and miss him. It’s a way of keeping him alive.
Sending you both love xx

Thank you Kate, So many people advise this, and I noticed many on this site are journaling. I very much want to do this, but find I get so emotional, and my concentration is so poor since my loss. I will try again, as I am bursting each day with things to tell her, that only she would understand. I am glad the journaling is helping you keep your husband alive, and you give me inspiration to take pen to paper as well.
We help each other here, that is why I keep returning.
Love & Peace. Sister2

Hello Sister2. It’s ok to get emotional when you write, even when tears fall onto the page, it’s ok. Write in the same way as you chat and you will find that it comes easily and very little concentration is needed. I hope it will provide you with some comfort. Let me know how you get on. Sending love xx

Thank you for bothering and caring. I appear to have entered the immobile phase where everything is a huge effort. I am making myself do stuff otherwise I think I would just stop. X

Elaine I understand that phase you speak of. The effort to just get on with the daily tasks is just too much while grieving. I force myself as well, but my heart is not in it. I go through the motions most days, but really want to find a safe spot to cry and release the pain. The car is often that place, since there I am alone.
Kate suggested journaling and I found an old empty journal, and plan to begin, perhaps you can also try to write down your feelings, or just “talk” to your sister.
That is what I miss so much, those daily chats and shared laughter.
I am glad to see you back on the forum. I wish you both peace and strength. Sister2

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Oh well done Sister2. I hope your journaling goes as well as it can and you get something from it. Today I was looking at my journal from last year and I really have come a long way even though I don’t always feel that I have. I wish you well. Much love xx

Thanks both. Tough few weeks. Very tired just now bùt have managed to have a cry occasionally tiring but helpful. Just long for the old me x

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