Still Grieving After More Than Ten Years

In December 2010 I lost my only son. He was 43 and adopted from Thailand. He was an alcoholic.

I know that there is no specific time period for grief and that I suffer from complicated grief. But why do I still cry most days after so long? As a Buddhist I know that all life is suffering, but how I wish the sadness would dissipate. I am still reminded of the very last entry Kenneth Williams made in his diaries: “On what’s the bloody point?”.

Dear Doris

There isn’t a timescale and losing your son is so tragic. However hard life is, it is a gift with highs and lows, joy and agony. It’s ying and yang.

I lost my son in 2019 he was 30. I understand the pain :broken_heart:. His death was drug related- a combination of prescription and recreational drugs…it was accidental and he was so nearly saved. They worked on him for along time.

Perhaps like me you feel guilty that you couldn’t save your son? So many of us carry guilt alongside our grief :cry::pleading_face:. Our children made poor choices - we are not responsible for them.

I’m sending love and a hug.


Hello Doris, grief does not have any time scale and even if you think I am winning, it comes and bites you. There is a lot of point because there’s always tomorrow and we never know what that may bring. Yes, please think about counselling, there’s always a waiting time but it should help. There’s lots of post on here that may give you ideas as to help with your life at present because everyone as lost someone very special. Yes, you may say we are all in the same boat. Take care. S xxx

Big hugs :heart:

Sending you big hugs and blessings Amyjay. S xxxx