It’s 8months since my husband died and I felt terrible this weekend for no particular reason, just missing him so much, feeling so lonely and lost. Changing all the clocks to summer time was always his job as so many things are and I felt devastated to realise yet again he was never coming back. There is no joy in life without him , we had 63 years of happiness and love.
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Hi. What you are going through seems quite normal. I think we all have these dark times for no particular reason. I had one this past weekend.
I try to make those periods between the dark times as good as they can possibly be, then I am confident the dark times will pass as quickly as possible.
One of the best things I did was to decide how I wanted my new life to be. Penny would want me to make the best of a bad job!. I wrote it down, and it became my plan, and I took loads of actions to make it happen. Its 11 months since she died, and Im ok.
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Hi I am 3 years in and still missing my husband very much . I feel so lonely too no one knows how hard it is to carry on without the one you love. My heart is broken and it rebreaks every morning when I wake up to the fact he isnt here anymore 
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@Unforgettable, yes, it does creep up on you. I was having to sort out my wifes pension, then it just hit me another part of her has gone. It is like the loss happend again. I went for a very long walk to surf the grief wave. 
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Lost my husband 3 months ago and still feel so depressed. Want this feeling to go away but I know it won’t. Hate waking in the mornings to yet another sad day. Wish I wasn’t here. Would love to meet someone going through the same who understands my feelings who I can talk to and help each other.
I know how you feel. I dozed off watching tv last night and woke up feeling thirsty. Got up to call my husband to see if he wanted a Horlicks only to realise he was not upstairs or even in the house, It was terrible.
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Unforgettable,
Know the feeling lost my husband 5 months ago and was so upset over the weekend ,
Everyday is a struggle its so difficult ,
Take care
Sue
thank you for your reply. i will try to copy you and plan my new life. it will be difficult as i have always had a soulmate since i met my husband when i was still at school aged 16. life seems so empty without him.
@Unforgettable. Its a hard road. I was walking up a long steep road the other day. I started off with big steps, but couldnt keep it up. I changed to slow little steps, and it became much easier.
Our journeys are a bit like that, lots of little steps, it will take a bit longer but you will do it!
Just wish I could feel better in myself. The anxiety I have is affecting me badly especially having a nervous stomach which leaves me with no appetite and resulting me in losing so much weight. Grieving for the one you love is horrendous.
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Yesterday I tried your little steps when walking from my car to the supermarket as I was feeling emotional seeing all the couples going in to do their Easter shopping together, It helped, I used to enjoy bank holidays and weekends when I had my husband to share those times, but now I dread them.
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So sorry you are suffering with anxiety. I know how you feel as I wake up every day with a horrid realisation that life is different and lonely. Your doctor could help if you are able to see him. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that my husband has gone for ever, and this makes me cry so I try to keep as busy as possible. Try to eat a little and often as losing weight is not good, you need your health especially now you are on your own to cope.
I know exactly what you mean I feel so lonely when I see couples shopping or walking their dog together I am so jealous of them that they still have each other
@Marl @Lewis123 @Unforgettable shopping on your own is a nightmare especially if you cannot afford to get food delivered. I avoid the place we used to shop and went to one with a better vib. Resently i have been able to go back although i go when the supermarket first opens, as there are not so many couples but other single people. Weekends tend to be the worst as this woukd be the time when we did special times, since loosing my linda i too have done a lot to distract myself and less the grief crying. As impossible as it seems being on your own you do get more accustomed to the reality. The reality i have found you are not truely alone as we are all here for each other. The difficulty is coming to terms with the lack of a soulmates presence and the small things you did this is were we all are different, and for some of us it is a very long jorney indeed. Sending virtual hugs.
Thankyou we dont only grieve for the person we have lost but also for the life we shared together. Xx
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I too hate weekends as they were a special time when we were together. I have considered going to a grief meeting which they have fortnightly in the local library, but I don’t know whether this will help or worsen my feelings. Has anyone been to one I wonder?
Hi I would love to go to grief support group but I dont know any near me. It would be a good place to meet people and hopefully make friends with people who know exactly how you are feeling
Hi Unforgettable`
Re: your question about going to a grief meeting. I started going to them when I found that I didn;t really want to be with groups of people and I did find it helpful in the early days. Eventually I foun that I didn;t want to be surrounded by grieving people continually. I would advise that you have a go but if you feel that you have outgrown the meetings don;t be afraid to call it a day.
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I think a lot depends on who is in the group. If its full of people who want to encourage each other and form happy friendships to move on together,then thats great. If its a group of people who share misery. Then that’s not a lot of help.
Theres only one way of finding out, and thats to attend it.
Regarding going to Grief Groups. I agree with Tykey it does depend on the group. At first we just want to mix with people who are suffering in the same way but gradually I found I wanted more varied conversation yet some of the group were still crying and wanting to talk all about themselves and not interested in other members. It all became too confusing for me and I didn’t quite know what I did want. Lockdown stopped the meetings and I realised I just didn’t need them any longer. We change and we need to follow the route we feel comfortable with.
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