I have not posted for a while but today I feel I need to because it is 2 years today my father passed away. And I am having to cope on my own which I have been doing for the past 2 years mourning my mum as well who will have past 2 years in January. I have moved out of the area where my parents lived which has been a huge relief. And I do not have to be near my evil sisters who bullied me after Mum and Dad passed so I cut them off and I have no contact with them. It still feels like yesterday I lost Dad and the grief is still intense today I feel numb and disconnected and I feel sick my grief is affecting my body. A few months ago I came home by ambulance my body just broke down along a road . Today is going to be very hard both mentally and physically take care everyone, Kate
Hello @kate88,
Thank you for reaching out today. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum and dad.
Everybody is different, but you might want to read our How long goes grief last? support page as it talks about some signs that it might be time to ask for help.
It sounds like your grief is feeling so intense that it’s affecting your body as well as your mind. Needing to be taken home in an ambulance must have been very scary for you, and you sound like a very strong person to be coping with this grief. I’m sorry you don’t have the support around you that you need, but I want to reassure you that you are not alone.
You might it helpful to watch this video about complicated grief too. In it, our Head of Bereavement Bianca shares signs that you might be experiencing complicated grief and need some further support.
What is complicated grief? | Sue Ryder
I hope that this is helpful - take good care.
Seaneen
@kate88 I have no words which will magically take away your pain. It sounds like you have gone through some really difficult and draining experiences these past 2 years. Any anniversary is tough of course.
Would you like to share any favourite memories of your parents today? Or visit a place they regularly frequented? Or cook a meal (or order in) something they enjoyed? Feel free to share here, or not if it’s too much. Take it easy today, and all days 
