Still have really bad days.

Losing a partner
1

I lost John last May and still feel so bad and sorry for myself. I have joined several daytime groups but evenings seem to go on forever. I have various hobbies but can’t seem to get back into them.

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2

Hello there, @Daybyday - we got to today, you and me and everyone on here. We are doing better than we may think. Getting accustomed to life alone is so hard, so difficult and you are giving it all such a good shot. I have found, nearly 2 years in, that life’s new pattern and rhythm emerges on its own time and in its own curious way. Suddenly, things feel that little bit easier to bear, the load that little bit lighter to carry, new activities more familiar.

Keep going, my friend, keep going - we are all together on here and we are with you x

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3

It is 14 months for me. Today I tried three times to get money out the ATM machine and failed. Yet the previous customer was successful. The shopkeeper said it wasn’t me it was always playing up. Now why say that? Well I have been frightened to try in case I lost the card. Also haven’t needed to do so.
But I do need it to work now. Now I am not crying like before when I couldnt do things he did.
I guess I am getting used to it. Doesn’t feel great. Also I am starting to get back into my sewing. Couldn’t concentrate much before. It is therapeutic.
I am starting to get back to counting five a day fruit and veg and saying I will feel worse if I don’t.
Just cut my hair today. Something which is normal for me rather than leave it all straggly.
I feel lighter. Just little steps. His birthday is coming up soon. The second one since he died. At one time we used to go away somewhere then.

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4

Im having an inexplicably terrible week. Nearly 6 months have passed and all i am doing is crying. I’ve decided to put the house up for sale as there is no way I can keep in top of the never ending issues and the garden is way too big. I cry when i think of the times we could have gone out but he had to do the hedges or clean the gutters.

Im fed up of people saying how well I am coping. I am so angry at tge moment

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