Still hurting badly after 3 years

Someone close to me died 3 years ago and i have been strugling to cope with the loss. She meant more to me than my own parents and now she is gone. She died of breast cancer early in life and though it was her falt for not going to the doctores i have always blamed it on myself. My mental health got rapidly worse when covid struck and i have been suicidal for around a year now. I have maid myself quit ill and need to talk to someone but no one lisens leaving me in to suffer in silence. I have lost trust and i lost my beast freind. I need to talk soon befor it gets worse.

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Hello @Via, I’m so sorry to hear about your Auntie. I noticed you are new to the forum and I’m hoping you are finding it a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

We have some useful resources on our website, including this article which I thought you might find helpful, even if it just reassures you that how you are feeling is normal.

I’m not sure if you are aware but Sue Ryder also offers a free bereavement counselling service that could be helpful for you. Sessions are held via video chat and if you would like to find out more, you can do so here.

I’m so glad you got in touch today, Via. Keep reaching out and please know that we’re all here for you.

Take care,


Online Community team

Dear Via

I am sorry for your loss of someone close, that you suffered three years ago. Also sorry that your mental health has suffered. I now know myself that three years is not that long really in terms of possible length of grief. It is three and a half years since my dear husband died. I think as you were so close to your loved one, you must have been a good friend and comfort to her, and probably she could not have managed without you in her life. If you can, try to only remember the good times when you and your friend/relative were living a normal life together, and not her illness which sadly took her. She would certainly not wish you to be blaming yourself in any way. Look after yourself. You are important to yourself and those that know and love you. All friendships or relationships are different, and will fill different aspects in your life. Your late friend would not want your grief over her to stop you being the caring person she knew you to be. I am sure she would wish you to find future happiness whether it through work, hobbies, or relationships. Just allow yourself to carry on, remembering only the happy times. Don’t let your mental health suffer, seek help from the experts if friends and family are not sufficient. With best wishes. Deidre.