Hi all,
It’s been 18 months for me now, since I lost my Keith, and I can’t really say that it’s getting any better.
I still feel like:
It’s not real or I can’t accept it
I’m just going through the motions
I have no purpose or don’t belong
What’s the point of anything
Is it just me or is this normal? I feel so lost, depressed, fed up, totally down and I miss him so much.
S.
This is normal. You’ve lost someone very important to you.
There is no timetable to “getting over” the loss of a loved one. Just take one day at a time. Don’t beat yourself up. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Some people move on quicker than others. It doesn’t mean they had no feelings about the person they lost. It’s just how they have dealt with it.
You have to remember what works for one, doesn’t work for another.
Baby steps. We are all learning to be a single unit. That in itself is a hard thing to deal with.
Sending hugs
I lost my beloved husband 3yrs this year and i am struggling to come to terms with it
I am suffering from depression and anxiety. It is really bad that I can’t leave my flat without worrying something bad will happen
I’m sorry for your loss. These things are handled differently by everyone. I was actually talking to someone today at Slimming World and she said she lost her husband 20 years ago. It took her 12 years to come to terms with it.
You could talk to someone else and they have come to terms with it, within a few months.
Just remember that grieving is a individual thing. No 2 people grieve the same. Just take things one step at a time.
A friend of mine in America sent me a message when I told him I was struggling. He told me that I already know what I’ve got to do.
Take baby steps. In honour of my loved one and for my own sake, become the best version of myself I can be. You might be alone. You might want to throw in the towel. You will cry, but in honour of his memory, find you.
You’re stronger than you think.
Sending hugs 
Thank you Myjica 
x
Lisagam64,
I don’t really like being told that I’m strong and that I will get through it, but I do have good days. You do have to be strong, and keep yourself busy. Your husband wouldn’t want to see you like this. Do it for him.
Sending much sympathy and encouragement. Xx
I feel exactly the same I lost my partner at beginning of December to brain cancer. I miss him terribly everyday life will never be the same again x
I fully empathise with how you are feeling. My husband died in September last year, during the week of our 51st wedding anniversary. I still find myself not quite accepting he has gone, although I know he has. Just trying to get through each day - some are better than others, and it’s just the feeling of loneliness even when surrounded by other people. I do find music is a trigger for me. I love listening but it can evoke such emotions. So I think we just need to keep going and eventually things aren’t quite so raw although life will never be the same. Your emotions are very normal. Take care xxx
Debbie1966,
Grief is simply a beast but it only hurts so much because we love so much. It will never go away but maybe in time it will get a bit easier. Take care xxx
Amberdog,
Music is a trigger for me too so I don’t play it too often, but it can still catch you anywhere, like on the radio in the car.
Keeping busy and preoccupied helps but there’s always the quieter times where you can’t help but reflect.
Just got to keep on going even though sometimes you wonder why.
All the very best to you.
Take care xxx
How the hell do You carry on after a great Hole has been Ripped out of you
Hi. I lost my husband in September last year also. It’s all so very raw for me still. I do have some good days , though there’s tears at some point most days.
Our son has just announced that we’re to be first time grandparents and it’s created even more grief as my husband won’t be here to enjoy it all with me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely over the moon at the prospect of being a grandma , I just wish Tony was here with me.
I hope you begin to find things easier as each day passes. Sending healing thoughts .
It is totally normal thats what grief is like. I call it a living hell.
Oh my @Sandra123
Almost 18 months for me too , my husband left me on August 24th 2022.
I could of written your post word for word. Literally.
It’s so horrible isn’t it.
Everyone thinks we should be okay now.
All my love to you, big hugs, and lots of strength.
Hi Cathphil,
Thank you. I do weirdly find comfort that people are going through the same stuff, and even more comforting that a few of us could write exactly the same posts.
11th August 2022 I lost my Keith and it would be his birthday this Thursday. Tough month for me with it being our 25th anniversary too.
I too think I’m ok at times and then it hits like a wave from nowhere! Can’t do anything but try to get on with it, but it doesn’t stop you from feeling completely lost.
You take care too and thank you. Xx
Sandra123 we all going through the same pain not easy but somehow we have to keep going take care
Hi @Sandra123
Scrolling through again, while having a particularly tough weekend…
You are so right, weirdly it is comforting to know that others ‘get us’
Thank you for getting me…
But I wish so much that you weren’t feeling all the pain that I am.
Big hugs my darlin’
Hello @Sandra123
I do hope you had people you trust around you through your difficult month .
Last August was especially hard , my husband died on 24th , and our wedding anniversary on the 25th.
Life can be so s**t
Love hugs and strength to you
Hi Cathphil,
I have great family and friends around me. They really are a source of comfort, but … they don’t understand exactly what I’m going through. No-one does unless they’ve been through it themselves, which is why this forum is great. I would not wish this kind of pain and emptiness on anyone. I’m finding that grief has many strange affects on your body too. Well, I’m blaming that rather than the fact that I’m getting older…! 
.
Miss my Keith beyond words can say.
Take care and big hugs back at you x