Still miss her

I lost my mom just over two years ago she was a very active 68 year old and her sudden death was like a bolt out of the blue. I still remember finding her lifeless after taking her last breath and standing there not quite knowing what to do! She was my everything being an only child I relied on her prob too much and her love for me knew no bounds! I suppose what I need to know is how and when does it get easier I find I’m struggling to cope on my own let alone letting my partner in!