Still not coping

I lost my mum, a year ago last week and her brother, my Uncle a year ago tomorrow. Im still not coping very well, I’ve been to counselling which hasnt helped. I dont think a day has passed that i haven’t cried. Im trying to hide my feelings from my family, pretending everything is fine, im exhausted mentally and physically. I was ill in February, and almost died. Im really really struggling. I thought as time passed it would get easier. I don’t know what to do.


Hi, sorry things seem so difficult for you at the moment. Grief is brutal isn’t it? Sadly I don’t have any quick fix solutions to the agony it causes. Have you looked at the advice available online about managing anniversaries of loss? Don’t give up on the idea of sharing your feelings just because counselling didn’t help previously. Perhaps you might be able to find a different approach with someone else… I lost my Mum four months ago and I still find it difficult to have any enthusiasm or energy for life. I’ve accepted that this is part of the grief process and am doing what I can…reading about other people’s experiences is helpful as it makes you aware that you are not alone. Take care xx


Dear @L72

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your mum and Uncle and that you are struggling. Grief is a horrible journey of emotions, it is a rollercoaster ride with good days and bad days. All of which is normal.

There are resources by Sue Ryder which may be of help to you at this time.

There is a useful Grief Guide that contains information to help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief. When you feel ready, it would be worth having a look at it.

It might be helpful for you to book and appointment with your doctor to let them know how you feel and to see how they can support you if you have not done so already. It is ok to ask for help and support. It might also helpful for you just to talk to your doctor.

I know you have tried Counselling, have you considered Sue Ryders free online Bereavement Counselling ? it might help trying Counselling again.

There is also a blog on Losing a Parent which may be of help and support to you.

Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS. This is helpful for family and friends too.

Grief has no time limit and it is a journey not a race. Grief for some people can go on for years, this is normal. Everyone has a different grief journey, you must be gentle with yourself and not compare your journey with others.

Sometimes it does help to talk to someone and there is always the Samaritans on 116 123. It is a free and confidential service availability 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

All of us here understand the pain of losing loved ones. You are not alone, keep reaching out to us here and talking.

Take care.

Peppers x


I lost my dad over 5 years ago and feel pain from it every day. I also tried counselling but it didn’t work for me. I’m slowly coming to accept that it’s ok to talk to people around me about how I’m feeling and that the time that time that has passed since losing him doesn’t make it any less significant. Have you tried reaching out to the people close to you? I’m sure they would listen and would feel happy that you’re opening up to them, they’ll want to help. In the meantime keep posting on here, sharing your experiences and even just writing things down is cathartic. Take care xxxx


Hey I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time.

I lost my beautiful Mum 12 weeks ago now, and thought I had a break through the other week but the grief cycle had other ideas and put me back in the denial stage.

I have been counselling which is coming to an end soon and I don’t feel any better but I was told sometimes going counselling it can get worse before it gets better and people often come back a few months later.

I don’t think you ever do get over losing those you love, but you learn to live with it, I know for a fact I’ll always miss my Mum every moment of my life.

Keep talking on here, I find it can help sometimes x