Still numb

Hiya, I lost my mam the end of August and people say it gets easier with time but the longer I go without seeing or hearing my mam the harder it gets, will the pain really ease as time goes on???

Hi tan,

Your mum has only been gone a few weeks and the pain is still so raw.
My mum died 15 weeks ago and I miss her more and more each day. I am in tears every 30 to 40 minutes and feel completely bereft.
I dont believe things will get easier,just that we get used to our new life without them.
I expect that the tears will gradually reduce but I dont think the pain will and I for one feel that i will never be the same again.
I just started counselling this week and have been told that its not unusual for this grief to last 1 to 2 years.
But then why would things get better? We just lost our beloved mums who have been with us our whole lives. I just want to get to a stage where I am able to start living again without the extreme sadness and guilt that I currently feel.
Thinking of you x

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Hi Tan

Sorry to hear about your Mum, still so early days for you…I imagine you are still in shock but I hope your coping ok.

My mum died very unexpectedly in March and I don’t think it gets easier at all? I genuinely believe we just get better at putting on a brave face and smiling a little bit more

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Thank you, just nice hearing from other that are going through the same thing, am just numb and hate the fact I cant speak to her let alone see her again, am the only girl and have 3 older brothers and although its hit them hard too I just feel like am not coping as well as them, just wo dering when that sharp empty feeling will go??? My wife is great and keeps saying I should talk to a conceller but am just like I have never needed to do that, and yeh am like I should of done more, should of made her go to a doctor etc, guilt, what’s ifs it’s just so hard xx

It’s a very up and down journey and still early days for you…I wouldn’t compare yourself to how others seem to be coping. It may be your brothers are putting on a brave face for you and you never know what goes on behind closed doors, maybe they are grieving hard but in private.

That’s nice you have your wife supporting you, most counsellors have a waiting list so you could always join and then see how you feel nearer the tine

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Hi I’m so sorry to hear about your mum I can feel what your going through. I lost my dad on the 7th of November and I’m really struggling. People say it will get better, he doesn’t want to see you upset move on with your life for the kids etc but how can I? It feels wrong to be ok, it feels wrong to smile and have a normal day. I guess I can’t give any advice on how to move on because I just don’t think we can move on not right now anyway. I cry all the time and it doesn’t get any easier. I guess I just wanted you know it’s ok to cry to let it all out that’s what love is and somehow i feel like I need to cry I need to be sad maybe I’m wrong I don’t know. Memories is all we have left ;-(