Still Painfull - suicide of fiancee

Hi
I am 29 and lost my fiancee a year amd a half ago.but on top of that i also lost my daughter as my fiancee was 7 months pregnant.i cry every day but not around people as i feel they would not understand.she committed suicide which is why i cant get over it.i knew i loved her the moment i first saw her.i wish i saw the signs or even payed more attdntion at the time.i feel guilty that i couldnt protect my child.its hard for me to talk about what happened and what its done to me.

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Hi Gilbert,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. Iā€™m so sorry to hear about the loss of your fiancee and your daughter - that is truly terrible. It is understandable that you are struggling to come to terms with it.

I hope that this site can be a useful outlet for those feelings that you find it hard to talk about. We have some other users here who have lost a partner to suicide - you can read and reply to some of their posts in this conversation: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/why

Have you had any sort of counselling or bereavement support? If you find it difficult to talk about with people in your life, you might benefit from having a neutral person to talk to, who can help you process these feelings of guilt and grief. Your GP should be a good starting point for referring you to the right support.

You could also contact Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (Sobs), who can offer specialist support for this type of loss - 0300 111 5065, http://uk-sobs.org.uk/

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I am so so sorry to hear this, it made me want to weep. I wonder if she had a mental illness? Well done for coming here, there are lovely people here. Minute by minute is how I have to sometimes try to cope.