I am 29 and lost my fiancee a year amd a half ago.but on top of that i also lost my daughter as my fiancee was 7 months pregnant.i cry every day but not around people as i feel they would not understand.she committed suicide which is why i cant get over it.i knew i loved her the moment i first saw her.i wish i saw the signs or even payed more attdntion at the time.i feel guilty that i couldnt protect my child.its hard for me to talk about what happened and what its done to me.
Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your fiancee and your daughter - that is truly terrible. It is understandable that you are struggling to come to terms with it.
I hope that this site can be a useful outlet for those feelings that you find it hard to talk about. We have some other users here who have lost a partner to suicide - you can read and reply to some of their posts in this conversation: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/why
Have you had any sort of counselling or bereavement support? If you find it difficult to talk about with people in your life, you might benefit from having a neutral person to talk to, who can help you process these feelings of guilt and grief. Your GP should be a good starting point for referring you to the right support.
You could also contact Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (Sobs), who can offer specialist support for this type of loss - 0300 111 5065, http://uk-sobs.org.uk/
I am so so sorry to hear this, it made me want to weep. I wonder if she had a mental illness? Well done for coming here, there are lovely people here. Minute by minute is how I have to sometimes try to cope.