I lost my mum 5 years ago when my daughter was 3 weeks old. I don’t think I processed it completely at the time as it was obviously a lot going on. I am still holding a lot inside and not sure how to move forward. Coping on the outside a mess on the inside.
I’m so sorry that you’re having such a difficult time at the moment dealing with the loss of your Mum. It makes sense that you perhaps didn’t fully grieve at the time as you had a lot going on & your newly born daughter to look after.
Do you think you might consider some counselling to support you through your delayed grief. I had some when my Mum died & it help me enormously. Sue Ryder offer an on-line bereavement counselling service which you can see at the right of the page. It might be worth considering.
There are lots of wonderful supportive people in the community who will understand what you’re going through.
Keep talking to us here & take care for now. Trudy x