Still so unbelievable

Hi, I am typing this quick message because it always helps to share. I lost my Mum in February this year and as we all know there are good days, sometimes weeks and there are bad days and weeks. I’ve been having a good week until right now when someone just asked me ‘how is your Mum’. Hearing myself say ‘she died’ has broken me. I’m sat in the loo at work having a tear. I will be fine in a bit and writing it down always helps.

What you have described is typical of how we have all felt in grief. You are so right. Getting things down in writing and sharing is good, and is therapeutic. It’s why counselling is useful. Opening up to strangers is never easy, and professional help is best.
Bottling up is a big no no, in my opinion. Things happen that remind us of the loss and shedding a tear is no problem and can help relieve tension. You may find, as I do, that something will ‘trigger’ an emotion. It can be something we see, hear or smell, even that can do it.
Feelings are raw, wide open. It’s why so many well meaning people can upset us if they don’t understand. A look, a word, or body language can all play a part in triggering an emotional response.
Hearing yourself say those words and being upset is normal in bereavement. This is a normal process of grief that needs to be accepted as our way of expressing our emotions.
Yes, you will be fine as your emotions become less severe, because sharing is so important. This site provides such a service. Try not to be too down in the down days. I said try because I am aware how difficult that is, but unless we make an effort we get caught up in permanent grief. We will never ever forget, of course not, and there is no time limit on this pain. But I know my wife would not want me permanently miserable or upset.
I do hope you find this site helpful. There are as many ways to grieve as there are people.
Take care, and hope to see you again. Blessings.

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